tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post5522513650920028517..comments2023-07-03T01:07:37.640-07:00Comments on Ignore the Crazy: Look who is so smart??Bekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02421106490759593190noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-74060564245649018592008-09-22T22:46:00.000-07:002008-09-22T22:46:00.000-07:00I like this post. It's hard enough to be a mom, b...I like this post. It's hard enough to be a mom, but throw extra strong wills and special needs into the mix, and HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!!melissabastowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07707231121450160335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-1137220162349448252008-06-19T22:31:00.000-07:002008-06-19T22:31:00.000-07:00Sounds totally normal to me. That's why the childr...Sounds totally normal to me. That's why the children's books that speak on one level to the kids and another to their parents are always so popular. And, say, Shrek, jauntily dissing Disney.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-58154727870616727982008-06-19T18:11:00.000-07:002008-06-19T18:11:00.000-07:00Hi Bek, I've never been here before, but it looks ...Hi Bek, I've never been here before, but it looks like I've been missing out. I'll check out your guest post on Segullah but for now this post was very satisfying. It made me want to be a more emotionally honest writer. It made me feel very naive. It made me wonder if I'm compassionate enough. It made me wonder if I'm annoying to my readers. <BR/><BR/>I think when people write "Thanks for sharing" when they comment that they are searching for a more articulate response than those three words can convey, but I still want to say -<BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing.<BR/><BR/>-Janelle (friend of Julie P.)Janellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14336321282330362007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-73210199235562803922008-06-13T10:06:00.000-07:002008-06-13T10:06:00.000-07:00I knew all that stuff about you. I would always t...I knew all that stuff about you. I would always talk with you at park day and when you would leave we would all talk about how alarmingly grounded you were for having such a nice lifestyle. So I guess now your probably surprised we treated you normal knowing you have rich in laws. I love love love it. Its the most refreshing thing I have come across in years. Your living a real authentic life. I think we would be doing society a favor by being more honest and real. You cant change what you don't acknowledge. I even look at my normal healthy children and wish away birth marks, moles, and thin hair that looks nappy all the time. I am so glad your normal. And by saying how you felt its not justifying it its simply allowing yourself to be real. Its the only way to learn to love your kids unconditionally. If you can accept that in your self. Nothing they can do or say would be judged.Camille Bassetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13199807331205855294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-23065261772545752312008-06-07T09:45:00.000-07:002008-06-07T09:45:00.000-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01837671746294035442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-79921420318733740812008-06-06T19:51:00.000-07:002008-06-06T19:51:00.000-07:00Yea. I like normal. I really like you. Our kids...Yea. I like normal. I really like you. Our kids can get together one day and talk about all the traumatic memories of Mom crying on the couch. They will remember those first way before they remember the great stuff.Betinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13647696608796160913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-52290218044926270372008-06-06T16:13:00.000-07:002008-06-06T16:13:00.000-07:00I found your blog through Angie's (the title caugh...I found your blog through Angie's (the title caught my eye- LOVE IT). <BR/><BR/>It sounds like there are parts of our journeys that are similar - my daughter has been diagnosed with a rare genetic syndrome. I, too, get weepy and sad and irritable before appointments at LPCH - and there are so many! I feel ashamed to remember not feeling connected to her or wishing her to be normal. I admire you speaking your truth, or whatever part of your truth you choose to share on your blog. I think having a blog has given me a place for tempering the tough parts with the silly or fun or beautiful parts. Otherwise I might just be wallowing in the ick. And that's just no fun.hannah mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13670485838465430425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-72617944763064337622008-06-06T07:03:00.000-07:002008-06-06T07:03:00.000-07:00I love you more now too. If more people offered u...I love you more now too. If more people offered up their true emotions and true experiences I think we would all be a happier, less neurotic society. Seriously.<BR/><BR/>When we were adopting for the first time I read an article about someones TRUE emotions as they embarked on transracial adoption and it was like a breath of fresh air. It was REAL. Their thoughts matched my thoughts and it was okay to have doubts!<BR/><BR/>I re-read a great conference talk yesterday that really inspired me and I put this quote on my fridge. It's from M. Russell Ballard...<BR/><BR/>"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family... What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."<BR/><BR/>I am inspired by ordinary people doing extraordinary things...like you!Leisha Marethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13292545230226607243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-32926211009241427662008-06-05T19:38:00.000-07:002008-06-05T19:38:00.000-07:00Love having you back Bek, and I think in blogworld...Love having you back Bek, and I think in blogworld everyone needs a quick reality check. . .no matter what they "put out there". The only reason I keep reading some blogs is to wait for it to come crashing down to reality from it's fluff-world. And just so you know, you're completely "normal", I can only take so much of my kids, I'm a yeller, an ignorer, a roll my eyes mom, my kids watch too much tv, play too much computer (Whit's a master now), and eat too much junk, and I think anyone telling you otherwise is the nutso one. <BR/><BR/>I once heard someone say "you're not a real mom unless you've thought about walking out the door and never coming back". . .the thing is that we DO come back (even if we leave to get some sweet ice cream). <BR/><BR/>As for your chat about why we blog. . .I blog to keep my life a little sane, I blog to remind me of the funny things that my kids say, or the gross, and the little bits of "life". . .the deep stuff for me is usually reserved for phone calls to family and friends when you really need to let it all hang out. . .or just cry it out by myself in my car. . .I don't think that's sad, I think it's life. <BR/><BR/>Eww, and sorry about the pukes. . .my brother in law once said the best diet plan he had was "food poisoning".wendysuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972358449380700170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-9089518112764093942008-06-05T18:28:00.000-07:002008-06-05T18:28:00.000-07:00Nothing like a mom to brag for you, right? Thanks ...Nothing like a mom to brag for you, right? Thanks mom..<BR/><BR/>Karly-I have always wondered about the famous "they are always so happy" thing and DS... I feel like that puts them under a lot of pressure when they decide to act like any other two year old, or 8 year old. Do they have to not have tantrums TOO??? So good points. <BR/><BR/>Kalli Ko... welcome to the world of mothering. It is a wicked combo of being the only one that can parent your child the best and being the only one that can mess them up the most. Thankfully, we all do a little bit of both. It is wonderful though (well, more wonderful when they aren't throwing up...).<BR/><BR/>babyG... can I remind you that you are the mother of two (both of whom are at tricky ages) and a student and well, it is really ,really hard at this point. It just is. Don't be a perfect mom. Just be their mom.... I am sure that you are doing just fine (and you have a good husband).<BR/><BR/>I go through phases when I read blog about really talented and capeable people (not all women..) and it just makes me feel crappy about myself. I feel myself getting uptight and anxious and wish I was better and could do better. That is when I take a step back from the computer, do something that I have been meaning to do for a long time (I have a famous and ever growing list of small jobs--10 min or so--that need to be done when I have time..things like cleaning out the bottle drawer, etc...) and come back another day. Ususally I read blogs about other moms/people and come away feeling inspired and wanting to do better.... <BR/><BR/>YOu guys might never get this much posting again (unless we have the flu again)...Bekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02421106490759593190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-84632838587502111862008-06-05T17:52:00.000-07:002008-06-05T17:52:00.000-07:00You know, I feel like my daughter is perfect, but ...You know, I feel like my daughter is perfect, but I would still take away her DS if I had a magic wand. I am not sure it's any different than a parent of a child in a wheelchair saying they would wish their child to walk if possible. And in my opinion, Down Syndrome doesn't make our kids who they are...that is one of my pet peeves, when people say things like " 'they' are always such happy kids"...I want to hear them say that when my kid is throwing a fit for any number of reasons, LOL.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I love your blog...even though you (gasp) have a gardener! I will get over it. ;-)Karlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04239587464894932070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-57247358711396769382008-06-05T17:51:00.000-07:002008-06-05T17:51:00.000-07:00Grrrr... I just wrote a long heartfelt comment and...Grrrr... I just wrote a long heartfelt comment and my computer managed to lose it...<BR/>Okay, So I just really needed to tell you thank you for writing this post. I fell apart last night, balling to my husband about what a terrible person and unfit mother I am. He actually told me I need to stop reading blogs and comparing myself to all these other mothers. I feel so inadequate, like a failure for my kids.<BR/>But then again,I don't post honestly. Just the bright side of things. For one thing, I don't want to hear anyone tell me I am failing, I do a pretty good job of telling myself that. And I don't want my kids to read about the pain and craziness of parenting. I don't want them to ever think I didn't love them because I do. But would my honestly make them think that, I don't know...<BR/>I cried when I read your post because we are all real. Even if we don't 'post' it. Thank you for being honest. And thank you for blogging again. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-27413031168842890442008-06-05T17:03:00.000-07:002008-06-05T17:03:00.000-07:00I am intrigued by all the comments of you "young" ...I am intrigued by all the comments of you "young" moms. Know what? Things/feelings haven't changed much from when I was a young mom...which is why I HATE...absolutely HATE going to church on Mother's Day. I can hardly bear all of those wonderful perfect mother stories!! Why can't they talk about the real things of motherhood! (which is why you last post was so "real." <BR/><BR/>I would like to add that most of us also have a gardener (the kid that mows and weeds for you), Nanny...paid babysitters, House cleaner...only because we can't afford it but the desire and need is still there!! Private jet..inlaws and their schedule that goes with it, private car to and from airport...taxi's or someone driving you to and from. We all have it, we just call it something different.<BR/><BR/>I am so impressed by your posts, Bek. (mostly that you are doing it daily!). Extraordinary mother, intelligent woman,generous soul, brilliant gourmet cook and a stupendous daughter!!<BR/><BR/>momjkAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-50397197643834741552008-06-05T15:11:00.000-07:002008-06-05T15:11:00.000-07:00I just checked in with you and caught up on your p...I just checked in with you and caught up on your past few posts.<BR/><BR/>Reading all of it actually made me feel good because I have all sorts of irrational fears about motherhood, I guess being on the verge for the first time does that to you.<BR/><BR/>It's good to know that feeling crazy and insecure is normal.Kalli Kohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02431451783508949531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-28898085827283164492008-06-05T13:46:00.000-07:002008-06-05T13:46:00.000-07:00She looks so sweet and comfortable in the basket!C...She looks so sweet and comfortable in the basket!<BR/><BR/>Confession time here too: I don't do near enough with my kiddos either. People always tell me, "you're doing so much with Kayla, look how well she's progressing" or something along those lines. But the fact is, I'm NOT. I'm just NOT doing a lot of "stuff" with her and feel guilty about that! I always said my kid wouldn't watch TV, or much, and yet I end up letting her watch much more than I care to admit!<BR/><BR/>I think you're doing fine :)Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02441176684416139172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-85516155345979166202008-06-05T13:06:00.000-07:002008-06-05T13:06:00.000-07:00I agree with julie p. Pretty much you are normal, ...I agree with julie p. Pretty much you are normal, and maintaining normal under some pretty extreme circumstances gets high marks in my book.<BR/><BR/>So I stand by my previous comments--your kids are blessed to have you as their mother.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-11518079719286186632008-06-05T12:28:00.000-07:002008-06-05T12:28:00.000-07:00Ok.. I totally know who you are. Hi there!! Congra...Ok.. I totally know who you are. Hi there!! Congrats having your daughter home and for baking a son during your first year of having her home. That is huge!! (and sorry about the miss communication).<BR/><BR/>You had to take your blog down? Yikes. I am so sorry about that. It is something to think about. I never, ever blog about anything that I wouldn't want a judge to read.... THey don't take your kids away for not wanting to listen to Hanna Montanna do they? Not yet anyway....<BR/><BR/>Sorry about the mix up!Bekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02421106490759593190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-88963415285789626662008-06-05T12:17:00.000-07:002008-06-05T12:17:00.000-07:00Hey Bek,Different Danielle in CO :). We "met" a wh...Hey Bek,<BR/><BR/>Different Danielle in CO :). We "met" a while back via my blog when I was early in the Ethiopian adoption process. I had to take my blog down because of crazy people (I'm apparently way too much of an open book to have a blog...what with all the crazies roaming the internet...). I think we met via Fizzle (and her blog) initially?? Anyway, my daughter has been home from Ethiopia for a year now and my son was born just a few days after the anniversary of her coming home.<BR/><BR/>Danielle in COAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-58401517221348400262008-06-05T12:08:00.000-07:002008-06-05T12:08:00.000-07:00Melissa--you posted before I did.I LOVE the Johnso...Melissa--you posted before I did.<BR/><BR/>I LOVE the Johnson-McCormic blog. That is one family I want to meet IRL. Her boys sound amazing and they have such a great head on their shoulders.... ;-)Bekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02421106490759593190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-43115394593703085402008-06-05T11:54:00.000-07:002008-06-05T11:54:00.000-07:00Lucky.. you are are an amazing photographer. Try ...Lucky.. you are are an amazing photographer. Try and offset that. You CANT.<BR/><BR/>P.S. Is it too late to get a disk of my photos? I'll e mail you...Bekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02421106490759593190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-75012818927534000432008-06-05T11:53:00.000-07:002008-06-05T11:53:00.000-07:00I love your blog! I found you through the Johnson...I love your blog! I found you through the Johnson-McCormick blog and have been getting your feed for about 2 weeks now. We are a transracial family raising one adopted daughter, one biological son and a foster baby who we hope to adopt. I am also a mom who has a tough time "being present" as much as I would like. But I think it gets harder and harder the more kids you have...or at least it has for me. Thank you for your honesty in your writing. It is fascinating to hear about your journey with Ace so far - she looks so sweet! Our foster baby sounds a little bit like your Norah(LOVE HER NAME by the way) in terms of some of the physical stuff too. Keep up the frequent posts!<BR/>Melissa in NJ<BR/>(www.RainasPack.blogspot.com)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-23435889094272520062008-06-05T11:15:00.000-07:002008-06-05T11:15:00.000-07:00p.s. i like how honest you are :)p.s. i like how honest you are :)LuckyRedHenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02999331968314504791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-54917721277420109082008-06-05T11:14:00.000-07:002008-06-05T11:14:00.000-07:00When I'm paid a compliment, I think I instantly of...When I'm paid a compliment, I think I instantly offset it by thinking of all the horrible things that only *I* know about then negate the compliment. It's almost like not getting the compliment in the first place is better so you don't revisit the bad stuff.<BR/><BR/>I feel ya.LuckyRedHenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02999331968314504791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-67544453679231998872008-06-05T10:23:00.000-07:002008-06-05T10:23:00.000-07:00You guys...Hey, Danielle in Co, I thought I knew w...You guys...<BR/><BR/>Hey, Danielle in Co, I thought I knew who you were, but maybe I don't. Are you from Mile High Mammas? If you are and I didn't know you were PG SHAME ON ME (and how did I miss that??). If you are a different Danielle, then welcome and sorry I didn't realize you were not who I thought you were... and congrats on your wee one....31 hours of labor. Ouchie McGouchie..... I don't feel so strange now..Bekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02421106490759593190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12830417.post-13356096679452229792008-06-05T10:17:00.000-07:002008-06-05T10:17:00.000-07:00This is why I think you're fabulous.Do you think w...This is why I think you're fabulous.<BR/><BR/>Do you think we record things so that we'll remember? So that when it gets hard we have those funny things to remind us...it's ok? Or that we record the hard stuff to remind us when it's going well that wow... look at what we survived and conquered? I think I do... <BR/><BR/>That image of you crying when you heard from the geneticist... I would have done the same thing. None of us want our kids to go through something challenging... for their entire lives. Just like everyone here is saying... thank goodness you're normal - honest. I'd take you any day... over frou frou blurred photos and quaint descriptions of how perfect someone's life is.QueenScarletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02270993732115125040noreply@blogger.com