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how I told you I was going to tell you funny stories and all about Vegas and then I just dropped off the earth? Sorry.It reminds me of the last little blogging break I took a few months ago (because I was too busy, whatever) and then crazy things started happening to me. It was like the universe was DARING me not to blog. I am not kidding. On the same week, in the same few streets I saw a bank robbery, Mark Kate Olsen (really, I swear it was one of the monkey twins) getting coffee and potty trained Jacob. There were a few other things that my sleep deprived brain can't remember, but I remarked to my husband that it took GREAT discipline (or yet unreached depths of laziness) not to blog it all. That is when he remarked that maybe I need a laptop and WiFi.

Today will be a catch up post with lots of bullet points, they are the new parentheses you know. The only problem is that I don't know how to do them yet, so I will do the lazy woman's bullets by using two dashes. Just so you know.

--I know I look/seem old, but the Internet is hurting my feelings. Somehow my e mail address was sold to a list for old people. It has been nothing but wheelchair rentals, step in bathtubs and stair lifters all the live long day in my inbox. I know that I don't LIKE the e mails saying that I have a secret admirer or that sexy singles in my area are looking for me, but now that they have been replaced by the geriatric set of spam, I am a little bit hurt.

--Speaking of internet. Lauren seems to think that it is an all knowing, living entity. She asked me yesterday if I knew how many minutes are in a year (what, you don't know that??). When I told her I didn't, she answered "I'll just ask Internet when I get home". Not THE internet, Internet. I might have to share my new best friend.

--Norah has started the infant development classes. She is fairly amused with the whole thing. They sign and she CAN do the signs, but doesn't want to mostly of the time. If she DOES participate, we all have to be really careful not to encourage her or act happy about it because she will then decide that she will NO LONGER participate. She is a 13 year old in a 2 year old body. Good times ahead.

--Norah gained 1 pound over the last 4 months, this huge. She is still way off the charts and the force feeding regime continues, but this is the first time she has gained more than ounces and even though she is small, she gained the correct percentage of weight over the last 4 months, so if we can do this for another 6 months, I might stop having to bring her in each month to get a weight check.

--In other news, Grace is growing at an alarming rate (she is a Bingham after all). She is huge. Huge cheeks, huge smile, huge personality and huge appetite. I am not used to my kids growing out of their clothes before they have a chance to wear them all. She is already on to the next size. Pretty soon, Grace will be handing down clothes to Norah.

--We are doing our Stay-cation this week. When I first heard that word I thought it was clever, but with in the space of a few weeks I heard it on Regis and Kelly as well as getting it in my mailbox via a Target coupon. So, I am pretty sure that it will be the "talk to the hand" of Summer 2008. We are going to a Giants game tonight (and we get to take the train!! That is the best part!! Garlic fries!!). Saturday we are going to the zoo. No garlic fries at the zoo.

--Pistachio is the flavor of 2008. I love them. I buy them by the bag full at Trader Joes (I can even get the pre shelled) and put them on everything; salads, ice cream, chicken. You name it, I will put a pistachio on it, eat it and LOVE it.

--My husband and I are obsessed with the Bachelorette this season. It is our favorite. Who do you think she is going to choose?

-- As I was talking to Lauren about what we can do to make the spirit in our home be better (there is some hard core squabbling that rules our lives) her answer was that I should punish Jacob more. Looks like we have some work to do.

--the mystery smell that has invaded our home is slowly going away. At first it smelled like dead animal (it must have been under the house b/c we tore the house apart). Now it just smells like half mold/half burning. Weird. I hope it goes away soon. I hope to ignore the problem to make it go away. That usually works.

--California is burning down. Really. There are something like 1000 forest fires. The air is smoggy and heavy with ash for the last few weeks. We even had a few days last week where they told everyone to shelter in place, not just the old people (ehm, which is apparently me now). Please pray for the people fighting the fires and the folks who are displaced. That is scary.

--Kid Movies. In the last two weeks we have taken the kids to see Kung Fu Panda, Wall-E and Kit Kittridge (we were sheltering in place and no one has AC here). They weren't too bad. I would recommend all of them. If you are afraid of Hobo's or the word Hobo, do NOT go to Kit Kittridge. Don't say I didn't warn you.

--The hands free law just passed yesterday. I guess I am going to have to buy a headset. Bah humbug. First they outlaw grocery sacks, now the phones. I never remember to grab that stuff by time I have gotten all 35 of my kids in the car...... so if you never hear from me again via phone, you can just blame California. I know it saves lives (and really is a good law, especially the part that says teenagers cannot use a cell phone or texting device AT ALL in a car...).

HAPPY 4Th. We will celebrate by NOT doing fireworks (California is on fire remember) and by swimming and eating blue chips with salsa and NOT talking on the phone while driving and eating garlic fries while we cheer for our Giants to beat the Cubs (won't happen).....

BE SAFE!!!!