My Lulu Bird.....

I just realized that Lu was 4 when I stared this blog. She is now 9. Being 9 means being officially entrenched in tweendom and all the Justin Beiber and girl wars that it encompasses. Girl wars. DON'T GET ME STARTED.

When we moved to our little town a few years ago we were so lucky to be in the school district we landed in. Our very small town has 5 elementary schools. That means that almost everyone who attends school lives within walking distance. It also means that all of our children's' friends live in walking distance. With just two classes for each grade, the kids get to know each other very well. There is a great little group of girls that Lu has been able to befriend over the years, but time works it's magic and I am starting to see factions forming. It is a tough lesson and we might be in for a few rocky years, but it is part of being a kid these days and hopefully she can learn some social skills and practice compassion and what being a true friend means.

Lauren always has been my creative kid. She loves to draw and write and over the years her scribbles have turned into books that she writes for her friends and the kids. She is working on a series of books about Fairies (her current obsession) that are actually pretty funny. She also really likes Baby Mouse and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. At school, she is a math whiz and has been really loving science. Those were not, ahem, my best subjects at school, so she is teaching me these things all over again. I actually enjoy the post dinner quiet time we get each night. We sit at the table while she works on her homework and I work on my ..... blog/peggle score/read Vanity Fair/nails. It gives us a chance to have some catch up time. Derek has started using this time to give Jacob some one on one time that he is really craving right now (more on that later).

Since this blog is both a record for my family and a possible tool for other families who might have families that are like mine (whether it is the adoption issue, the trans racial family issue, or the various special needs of our kids) so they can see what we have done and where we have both failed and succeeded, I am going to chronicle both the challenges and successes that my kids have had with each other and their specific situations.

Lauren is a typical oldest child. She is bossy and she is wildly creative. She is great at assembling the kids to do fun games (last week it was a carnival---complete with tickets and prizes a la Chuck E Cheese). I have very fond memories of my older sister doing the same thing. Most weekends the TV doesn't even come on in our house except for quiet time. She is also a typical oldest child in that she tries to mother all the other kids. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. I must tell her 100 times a day "you are not the mother". I know that when there is an oldest child, especially the oldest child of special needs kids, mom DOES need a little bit of help. One of the (many) reasons we hired a nanny is so that we could preserve Lauren's child time. She deserves to be a kid. Finding myself in a situation with three special needs kids under the age of three was a big adjustment. I have Maria to help me do the things that take more than one set of hands (and since our daddy leaves for work at 4:00 am, her help is invaluable in the mornings that she is here, she can bath the little kids and I can make breakfast, etc.. it makes the mornings so much more manageable).

I still struggle with Lauren swinging between feeling left out and feeling special that she is the "typical" one. I have worked really hard to make sure that when she is home from school (this goes for Jacob too) that I was home. I wanted to be the one that was available for them to do all the mom things. I figured that the little kids needed their basic needs met--food and safety and love. I could share that job with Maria. My big kids needed time with mom. I did this so well, my 2 year old speaks more Spanish than English and will say 'ria and made up a sign for her name, but will not say mamma or sign it. I worked to be sure that none of the therapies were during the times that the kids were home. But we deal in a world where perception is reality and the most words that Lauren flings my way the most often are "You are never here for me, you are always at therapy" I have so far labored under the premise that singing Liar Liar Pants on Fire is not a proper parenting technique. That is where we are today. I have a girl who thinks that she has had to sacrifice too much for her younger siblings.

She is also my worry kid. When she was little, she would lie awake at night and worry about her two big phobias; bears and fire (so, camping is out for us). So, this anxiety is not something new. These days her anxiety covers the basic school stuff, but has branched out to things like "am I going to have to take care of the kids when you die?" and "what is going to happen if Jacob keeps getting angry and the police come", etc. The sad part is that some of these things are not unrealistic worries. We are working with her art therapist to help her express some of these worries and figure out ways to help her not take too many of these things upon herself.

I know that the experiences that she has as part of our family will serve her well for the rest of her life. I think that being the sister of Jacob, Norah and Gracie will teach her things that, as a mother, I couldn't teach. I think she will learn skills that will help her be a better friend, a better employee and a better mother someday. I hate that it comes at the expense of her carefree days. I have deep regret that for the last few years it has taken every thing that Maria, her dad and I had to keep this boat afloat. That for the last few years we have literally had to schedule our time months in advance and juggle therapists and classes and general discouragement and fatigue. I know that some of it was at the expense of her, even though we tried very hard for it not to be. That is life. I am not one of those moms that feels guilt over lots of stuff, and I don't really have much guilt over this either. We did the best we could for the situation we were in and I think we did a pretty good job overall. But I won't say that there wasn't a trade off. And that is what make me frustrated. I just hope it balances out in the end.

Hijinks....

Any April Fools hi jinks in your houses today? April Fools gets a lot more fun when you have big kids in the house. Today we have had:

-- hard boiled eggs for breakfast (they were filled with confetti--and then kids had lots of fun breaking them over their heads)

-- saran wrap on the toilet (though, the joke is on me because guess who is going to clean it all up?)

--dollar bills wrapped in the toilet paper

-- the mandatory "Guess what? There is no school today" bit

--food coloring in the bottom of the cereal bowl, then cereal. When they poured milk on it all of the milk turned a different color (one child was convinced it would give him super powers....)

--A tall glass of icy diet coke that was really filled with mostly prune juice (I just wanted to see who was sneaking sips, and it was exactly who I thought it was) When I asked him if it tasted weird he told me that it was the most delicious Diet Coke he has ever had (note to self: remove the saran wrap before the prune juice kicks in)

--Mashed potato ice cream cones are on the agenda for after school (you can freeze the scoops of potato in the cone and put magic shell on them, for extra evil) as well as snow cones with salt (it is warm here today).

I might think of a few more, but so far this day has been successful. The one kid who has been the most and easily fooled has been the most fun to watch. Coincidentally, he is the one that gives me the most grief.

Revenge really is a dish that is best served cold (with Magic Shell).

She turned 2! Try and resist the cuteness.....

It is going to take everything I have in me not to turn this into a blog simply about Grace. I realize that I do have three other kids, but she is just so fun and sweet and changing every day. I can't help it. She is also the only one that doesn't sass back yet, I doubt that is a coincidence.

P.S. We often forget that she is "different" than our other kids. But in other ways, I just chalk up some of her physical stuff up to the extra chromosome. In these pictures she looks EXACTLY like Lu did at this age. The sausage roll arms, the patchy, mullet white hair, the little button nose..... I have to remember that genetics plays a larger role than the Down Syndrome. You would absolutely pick the two of them out as sisters.

Weekend Review

You never know what is going to happen at our house on the weekend. Take for example this weekend, we managed do quite a few things that we have been trying to check off our list for a long time.....

Make armor to protect from marauding raiders:

CHECK

Extort money from neighborhood children by charging

enormous amounts of money for shaved ice and sugar water:

CHECK

Get Gracie started on her future caffeine addiction.

Look at that face...Drinky McDrunkerson!

CHECK

Stage a Kabuki play.

CHECK! (What? You don't do Kabuki at your house?)

Get the kids started working off their indentured servitude:

CHECK

Start their performance art training.

CHECK (we call this one "Crazy boy on Blanca Amiga)

It feels really good to get those things finally taken care of. Stuff like that can eat at you if you don't get right on top of it. SOMEONE is going to sleep well tonight.

Wheee...

Thanks for leaving all those comments folks. It was the best adult interaction I have had all week.

Since it is has been more than a year since we had a post and closer to two since I posted anything really substantial, I better do the dreaded catch up. The short versions is : had a baby, therapy, therapy, therapy, laundry, therapy, therapy, sleep, laundry, dishes, church, therapy, birthday party, therapy, therapy, new therapy, new diagnosis, therapy, school, got a dog, therapy, therapy, therapy, get kicked out of school, therapy, therapist quits, therapy. :-) While it might seem like all of that therapy was for me (don't kid yourself, some of it was), it was mostly for the kids. We have the basic cocktail of therapist for each of them. Norah gets Speech, Occupational and Physical therapy twice a week,as well as Early Intervention classes and evaluations. Gracie got the same thing. Jacob gets sensory therapy, behavior modification and social skills classes and talking therapy.

I also have therapy (I eat a good restaurants with my friends and occasionally buy a new book for the Kindle and lock myself in my car to read........best therapy ever. That and my prescription drug addiction...... HA! got you! That would mean more therapy and I am afraid that there is just not enough time for that kind of an addiction). To top it all off, my nine year old has recently started showing some signs of stress and frustration being the oldest of all these kids and (in her words) "It is so hard to be the different one in the family". I guess if you are the only "typical" kid in a family of "special" kids, you feel left out if you don't also have a therapist. So we got her one (ssh, don't tell her, it is really an art teacher who is studying to get a degree in art therapy -- so they do one on one art classes and talk about how to manage the things that stress her out). Only in my family right?

We have't yet told the kids that all this therapy is coming out of their college funds, so they better REALLY listen to all these therapist and figure out how to get a scholarship to college (well, after they figure out how to do things like walk and draw a line that crosses the mid-line--therapy mom's...AM I RIGHT? Is it the freaking midline that is stumping anyone elses kids???.......)

I bet you forgot how much I like to write in parenthesis. I kind of did too, so I will try and cut it out. I am afraid that this blog is going to become even more stream of consciousness than before. There isn't a whole lot of time to craft a post and reread things (and this new fangled spell check? That is for sissys). At this point, as long as my unedited typing doesn't contain any swear words, we are good.

That is it for me today. I am off to take Cubby to................... ice skating lessons. I bet you thought I was going to say therapy, huh? Well, sometimes our 5 year olds just really want to ice skate. Keeping you on your toes. That is how we roll around here.

I'll do an update on the kids over the next few days. I love to see who is reading so leave a comment if you haven't already. I need to get some new blogs on my "must read" list. You know, for all the times I lock myself in the car (thank you iPhone). Its therapy.

Also, admit it, that picture of Gracie at the top kind of makes you believe in Santa. Just a little bit.

So, if a post is written on a dead blog....

and no one reads it, is it really a post or just an elaborate conversation with myself?

I am testing the waters out here in blog land. I am thinking about writing again. Mostly because there is a huge chunk missing in the amount of proof that we will have to show the kids about how much we recorded their early years. And also because I want to post one million pictures of Gracie. EVERY DAY. She is the cutest and best child in the world and I cannot seem to stop talking about her..........

Anyway, I am going to give this thing a shot again. I kind of miss my friends out there.

Anyone with me?

So. Our family has been sick for a long, long time.

I believe that the throwing up started Christmas Eve and we haven't had a fully healthy family since then. It is almost comical. Everyone will seem on the upswing and three seconds later someone has a river of green coming out their nose. We actually all made it to church one week and it was announced as the "happy minute moment". I am not embellishing at all when I say that about 20 minutes after I got home from church I had a sore throat and was so sick I couldn't get out of bed for several days. Who ever gets that sick anymore? We even got Maria sick. I think it might have been strep, but I didn't get myself to the doctor to see. In about 10 days I could swallow again and found myself 10 pounds lighter for my troubles. We just finished a round of coughs and colds and the little girls have not been in therapy for two weeks (we went back today, but big sister has a 104 fever and is bed bound with the flu. I sure hope she shares it with ALL the kids..).

The point of all this is not to whine about how we have been so sick. It has actually provided a refreshing change of pace for us. It has been like a vacation-with snot. I was laughing with a friend about how the kids must be spreading each others germs. We wondered if they were licking each others noses in the middle of the night or spitting in the bottles. Then today I randomly walked into the bathroom today and found Jacob. With his head in the toilet. With his head in the toilet as if he was bobbing for apples. Luckily it wasn't apples he had in there, just the hair brushes, the lotion bottle and everything else you put your hands on in the bathroom.

So, while I joked about the funny ways my kids could be infecting each other, never in my wildest dreams did I think that my germophobe son (heaven forbid there be a hair in the bathtub or that he get his hands STICKY) was marinating the downstairs bathroom in bog water. I can't even think about it. I am trying to find the humor in this, but right now I am too busy cloroxing every hard surface in the house.

I am beyond asking the question "why" (and just in case you are curious, the answer I got was "I don't know") I just want to know what kind of thoughts lead up to the point where the end result is to dunk your head in the toilet. We may never know.

I can't decide to call this a good day or a bad day. Good days generally aren't applicable if anything unusual with a toilet has been involved.

I think I will sleep on it.

*Update. After a reasonable night's rest and an episode of "The Bachelor--The Women Tell All". I have concluded that it was a GOOD day. If you are familiar with my wild man Cubby, you know that this is nothing. It didn't involve poison, sharpies, stitches or police..... What a GOOD day!!!

** Update/Update. I just remembered that a few days ago while we were visiting my in-laws for dinner, Cubby bounded into the dining room with a bunch of rat traps in his arms. The old fashioned kind that spring shut (like in the cartoons). I have no idea how he didn't hurt himself (and also, ewwww). That would have involved poison, stitches, broken bones AND the police (after we go three or four times in a year we have to meet with the hospital social worker--because, honestly, who has to go the ER as much as we do?).

**Update/Update/Update. I have had a few query's about the silhouettes. I did them in about 4 seconds in Photoshop. It is super easy. Want one? Check back in a few days. I'll post a tutorial for those who have Photoshop and how to get one from me for those that don't. It will involve a small charitable contribution of your choosing.

Just don't rock the boat....

I have had several inquiries recently asking how I am doing. My lack of blogging has annoyed some people (sorry mom) and worried others. Since the last time I took a big, unannounced blogging break was during the DARK TIME it is a fair concern.

Actually, things are fine. Better than fine, they are awesome. They are doing so well that I have to pinch myself to believe it. In fact, I think that was half the problem. I have been on such an even keel I don't want to do ANYTHING to mess that up. It is like my life is a ship that is packed to the absolute top and we are cruising along at top speed. Everything is fine unless someone upsets the balance. Is that to vague of an analogy? I guess what I am trying to say was that trying to do extra things like blogging, reading or taking a shower (kidding, kind of) puts me off my game.

But, since my baby is almost one (next month, don't remind me..I can't stand it) it is time to re shift the boat. Derek even bought me a laptop so I could update this site regularly while I am in my car or waiting at doctor appointments. I will put up a bunch of pictures to show the relatives that my children are not just alive, but growing and thriving and hope that will buy me some mercy.

I am back.

This girl is HEAVEN. I absolutely cannot get enough of her. There will be lots of Gracie posts soon. Recently what I can't get over is how much like Lulu she is, except the whole "scratching her head with her own foot" thing. She continues to delight the children with her party tricks.


Miss N is a little girl now, there is no toddler left. She is walking, running and talking (heaven help us can she talk). When I see this picture I am struck by how beautiful she is (and how awesome my braids were....). Nosi is still globally delayed, but spends most of her time acting like a 2 1/2 year old. We are also seeing more and more of ...

... this face. Good times ahead.


This guy? Not much has changed. He continues to be charming and funny and is getting less destructive by the day. We are not sending him to Kindergarten this year (he is right on the cusp) so he has another year in preschool to refine his stand up act and practice all the funny faces to make his teacher crazy. Lucky her!

Lauren is too grown up for me. She chooses her own clothes, has opinions about her hair and is generally a great helper and sister. I was looking at pictures of her the other day and realized that my tiny girl is gone. I didn't even notice that the new big girl Lulu had replaced her. Gulp.

There is a tidbit. I am working on some more posts. I am also going to start posting about the progress of Miss Gracie. I have talked to some parents who also have children with Down Syndrome and we were saying how there are only a few blogs that really give people some concrete insight into what it is like to raise our kids. We need these kinds of blogs, not for everyone, but for every family that finds out prenatally that their child has Down Syndrome and is trying to figure out what to do. Or, for the family that finds out at birth and feels overwhelmed with understanding just how exactly their lives are going to change. There needs to be more places where they can see what the developmental delays entail, how the therapies work in the context of family life. Mostly I just hope to show any one who reads here that having a child with Down Syndrome is both the biggest deal in the world and no big deal all at the same time. So many of these pregnancies are terminated and I just think that if people KNEW how easy it is to parent and love these kids, they would have just that much more information to add to their decision basis.

We are off to do something fun this weekend. What are your plans?

Mom, I need to be a rockstar....

Those were his exact words to me. In fact, they have been his words for the last six months. This boy has been BEGGING for a guitar for his birthday ("a REAL one mom..."). I won this guitar in the Nie Nie Day auction (thanks Oh Judy and the guys at Maroon 5!!!). No, I am not letting him carry this one around the house (for that, he gets the 30$ Target guitar, which is a good thing since I saw him hitting baseballs with it today....). But, I DID give him this one. He is obsessed with it and always asks me to hold it. He even knows how to shake his money maker while holding it. First things first.

After he opened it, he told me that he needs to find some other "big boys" and get on a stage and "sing like Rock Stars......" and then he proceeded to sing "Slow Ride" by Foghorn. You know, the one from Guitar Hero. Granted, his whole guitar exposure is from Guitar Hero (this is also where his exposure to swear words is from, ahem.....).

I think we might have a rock star on our hands.....

This one is for you, Pippin...

It seems like every day I think of something to write about. I have these great posts written in my head and then by the time I actually get in front of a computer, poof, they are gone. Then I give up and go to bed. Makes for a great blog. I am DETERMINED to blog more. I miss it. I need it.

I promised the Baked Potato Soup recipe and Pippin reminded me of that...so here you go. I am also getting some Design Mom traffic (Hi Design Mom readers!!!) because she linked me and I want them to have something interesting to read.. One thing you should know about me is that I don't measure things very precisely. That is why I stink at baking. I also tend to talk out recipes instead of just listing them. So, hang in there with the explanation, the end result is worth it.

Baked Potato Soup

I got this recipe from one of my favorite people, Miss Suzi J,who refuses to have a blog or comment on one. That is probably a good thing because she is really talented and would kick all our blogging behinds....

This soup is a basic roux with lots of good things added in. Add what you want, in the amount you want. The only thing that is really fixed is the roux. So here is the basic ratio. This can be a base for ANY cream soup. I usually plan on one cup of soup per person, so if you want to feed 8, use 8 cups of milk, 8 T Butter and 8 T flour, etc....

ROUX:

1 T Flour

1 T Butter

1 cup liquid (usually milk, or half milk and half stock. Or use all cream....just don't use all stock or non fat milk. There needs to be some fat in it to make it creamy).

Melt the butter in a large stock pot. Add flour and stir for about 2 minutes. This will cook the flour slightly and take away the raw taste. Add the liquid one cup at a time and whisk until smooth. That is it. This will thicken after simmering for about 15 minutes.

The thing that makes this taste like a baked potato is that there are, wait for it, baked potatoes in it. If you do this step ahead of time, this is a very fast meal to throw together.

6-10 med to large baking potatoes

Bake the potatoes in the microwave or oven. When they are fully cooked and cooled enough to handle, scoop out the insides. Mash or mix up so that most of it is in bite sized pieces (but not too small, it will break down a bit). I will bake a whole bag and then scoop them and freeze them. They freeze really well. One or two bags gets us through the whole season...

Add the potatoes to the roux. If you let this simmer a long time, the starch in the potatoes will continue to thicken the soup. This is fine. You can adjust by adding more liquid later. You can control the consistency.

Bacon

Onion

Garlic

Shredded Cheese

8 oz Sour Cream

At this point I also add bacon or ham. If you use ham, be aware that it will be quite salty and you will not need to salt this soup. I usually buy bags of already cooked and crumbled bacon at Costco and add a bunch. I also will cook up some onions and garlic in another pan (or if you are really lazy, do it in the 'melt the butter" phase of the roux) and add that too. You can even add carrots, corn, etc, etc. The sky (and the adventurousness of you kids) is the limit.

Right before you are ready to serve the soup, add a handful of shredded cheese (I use white cheddar b/c I like the soup to stay white and not get yellow-ish, but I am crazy like that). Any hard cheese will work; cheddar, mozzarella, jack, Gouda, etc, etc. Add the sour cream at this point too. Give it a stir and you are ready to go!

I serve this with bows of bacon, sour cream and cheese on the side so you can top it any way you want. This soup gets lots of compliments. People ask for the recipe and then have a heart attack when they see it has about a half a pound each of sour cream, butter and cheese in it!! For our family of six, I usually do 8 T of butter, 8 T of flour and 8 cups of liquid w/ about 2 cups of cheese and 2 cups of crumbled bacon. I like my soup thick w/ big chunks of potato in it. This is enough too feed us and give us several lunches worth of left overs.

Enjoy!

Guest posting today....

Come check out my post at Light Refreshments Served today ( http://lightrefreshmentsserved.com/) . They asked me to write about my experience with the Deaf culture. Long before I was the lady who knew all about adoption, trans-racial families and Down Syndrome, I was the lady that knew sign language. Not just any signed language, I knew BRITISH Sign Language. A language that is TOTALLY different than American Sign Language and is pretty much useless if you don't live in the UK. I served a mission for my church in the UK learning and using British Sign Language. In our church you don't choose where you go, you just sign up (missions are optional; girls go when they are 21 and boys fo when they are 19). You often don't know much about where you are going beyond the fact that it will be an adventure and you are willing to do your best. For more information about what missions are, you can go to http://www.mormon.org/.

I shared a few mission experiences, but there were MANY more that I couldn't share in the short amount of space that I had over there. Here are some more things that I DIDN'T share:

--how the sign for "very" is quite similar to the sign equivalent of the "F" word. More than one missionary thought they were saying that they were "very, very" something or another and really were saying that they were "f*@&ing f*@*#ing" something. Poor missionaries, but unintentional swearing is almost ALWAYS funny.

--one time we thought that we had a really solid baptism. We had taught the lessons to a deaf gentleman (and it had taken him over a year to decide to get baptised). He was so happy on his baptism day, he bought us a statue of the Virgin Mary (not something that we worship in our dogma) and told us how happy he was to be a "Catholic Mormon". Something clearly hadn't quite sunk in somewhere along the way.

--the sign for "baptised" looks very similar to the sign for "bury". We usually got a quick "NO" when we asked people if they wanted to be baptised. They thought we were asking if they wanted to be buried on a certain date. Frankly, I would say no to that too. People must have thought we were c-r-a-z-y.

--On the same vein, when I lived in East London, we would knock doors and ask people if they knew anyone who was Deaf. More than once we were sent to a house where someone had recently died (and once during the actual wake!!!). Then we realized that the East London accent has folks usually drooping the "th" sound for an "f" or 'v" sound. So, they thought were asking for someone who was DEATH. Apparently in East London they don't bother much with grammar either (because that clearly makes no sense either). I am surprised we didn't get more than strange looks.

--I met my husband while we were both missionaries. We didn't date each other out there (missionaries don't date while serving..well, they aren't SUPPOSED to....). We got reacquainted when we got home, but now I have to forever tell people that is how we met and then explain that missionaries really don't date, but that we met later, etc, etc, etc.

--I still use BSL to this day (that us why at the beginning of this post I said it is ALMOST useless if you don't live in the UK). There is a family in Palo Alto that moved to the US from England and they are deaf. When I see them in Walmart (always in Walmart) they sign with me in BSL. I am getting rustier and rustier as time goes by, but if I want to brush up, I can just head for Walmart and at some point I will see them. Weird, but true.

--I never taught my kids sign. Even with all the baby sign craze ("It's Signing Time with Alex and Leah" anyone? anyone?), I just didn't do it. I guess I was too lazy. The irony? The whole family needs to learn sign now b/c we will use it with Gracie. Kids with Down Syndrome have a harder time learning to talk and often ASL is a good bridge for them. So it is a matter of getting the big kids (and husband) up to speed so we can talk with her as she learns to talk.

Writing that post got me thinking about mission stories. I have a few more I can pull out of my hat, but I am going to go clean out Lauren's room. It is time for the Last Resort again in our house...... dum, dum, dum.......

Happy Monday to you too......

This is our new 8 year old. I love how all the pictures after 2nd grade have awesome snaggle tooth smiles. We took some pictures on the day of Lauren's baptism. She wanted to do a "model" shoot, so we have lots of pictures that SHE loves, but not exactly the kind that we put on the mantle. I can't wait to show them to her when she is about....16.

We had our first autumn meal today. Baked potato soup and homemade bread (don't get too excited, I still stink at bread, this was the box mix..but it worked!) On Monday's Lu comes to the grocery store with me and helps me to do the weekly shopping. She gets to decide what we have for dinner and helps me make it and usually the dessert. She made pumpkin pie tonight. Everyone hated it. Strike pumpkin pie from the Thanksgiving table for the next 25 years (that just leaves more room for pecan...).

I have been listening to the soundtrack of Rent these days. How did I miss this the first time around? I am not embarrassed to say that I LOVE show tunes. Hand me a soundtrack and I will learn it, sing it and teach it to my children (Lu had the entire Chicago soundtrack memorized by age 2). So, the summer of '08 is the summer of Rent. I think that the fall will be ..... hmmm.... Into the Woods........ my kids love that one...

What I did(n't) do this Summer

Sweet, sweet Friday.

A few days ago the weather turned (it will turn back in a few weeks. It is a trick that autumn likes to play on us, but she usually waits until we have put all the summer clothes away). We have been having really hot, heavy weather here and a few days ago we woke up to that cold smell in the air. You know how sometimes 65 degrees in the spring will have warm undertones and the promise of warm weather to come? In the fall, it is the same 65 degrees but it feels like there is a snap in the air and everything just feels more pumpkin-y.

Every week has been busier than the rest. I keep waiting for things to settle down, but they don't seem to, so I am changing my mindset to just think that this is the way it will be. I guess that is OK. I am keeping iTunes in business with all the podcasts and books on tape that I buy. I am spending so much time in the car, I actually have a pillow and blanket in there so I can catch a snooze while the kids are in various meetings. Buying a minivan was the best money spent EVER. We were able to switch a few of the girls appointments around. I used to have to drive home during rush hour after attending a class with Norah. It took me 60-90 minutes to travel a grand total of 16 miles. Now I have that class in the morning. I can't say enough about how wonderful the caseworkers, teachers and Early Development staff have been. The are bending over backwards to accommodate us because we have the two kids in the program. I have seen them do it for other people too. What a blessing this center is to us.

I have had some interesting comments, conversations and requests from some readers. This made me so happy--because it means I still have readers! Hurrah for comments and readers! Several people have asked what I feel about Sara Palin (I was even interviewed for the newspaper--but I didn't get put in the article b/c I don't think that I was the kind of mother he was looking for. Note to newspaper reports, Mormon does NOT equal evangelical. We are similar in many ways, but not quite the same...). I have a post about that. I also had an interesting experience that helped me come to a more healthy place about Miss Grace. I had a reader contact me. This reader and I have a LOT in common. We each have three kids (one bio and two adopted, black kids--one of whom has some development issues). She found out that she was having another bio child and early tests came back showing a higher than normal possibility of Down Syndrome. She contacted me to ask me some questions and in the process of emailing her, I was able to figure out some things that have crept up on me. I don't mean to do this as a tease, but I just wanted to get this down so I don't forget.

Right now I must go and do battle with my house. I decided to skip taking Jacob to preschool today (45 minute drive there, both the girls hanging out in the park with me for three hours on a blustery day, no thanks). I have laundry and dishes to do, fridges to clean, closets to straighten, beds to make, hair to do (mine and Norah's), children to spend time with, etc, etc, etc. I have a feeling that I will only get one or two things on the list accomplished. That's OK. It is nice to have a down day around here.

Hope you all have a great Friday. I will leave you with a piece of homework I found in Lauren's backpack today.

What I did this Summer (this is word for word--spelling intact)

This summer I went swiming and spent a day at my fierd Cameron he's so nice he has a 1st grade brother and a 3 year old brother named Ryly and 1 year old sister named kaly and I never got to go to the beach.

I like to read.

Hmmm. Glad you had so much fun with Cam, Lauren. I guess all that time/energy/money we spent visiting Utah, going to museums, playing with friends, attending fun parties, throwing fun parties, getting baptized, going to the Giants games, playing tennis, summer camp,etc, etc could have all been saved. I guess if we had just PROMISED to do all those things and then NOT done them, the last part of her first paragraph could have been longer. I am going to keep this and wrap her wedding present in it. :-)

Ah ha!

I managed to capture on film the moment that Ace realized her toes and feet were ATTACHED to her body.

This is our latest and still greatest party trick. As far as Lu is concerned, if having Down Syndrome means being able to do this, she is IN!

Her name is Norah, but you can call her Dobby

I uploaded pictures the other day and I found this series of photos. I did not take them.

Someone in my house likes to clean the fridge,

and wash the eggs (????),

and take pictures of herself doing it (so she can get the credit, I suppose).

OR, just one more reason why our nanny Maria is worth her weight in gold. SHE forces the children to work (apparently) while I am away.

I have yours boxed up and ready to ship.

Why we love IKEA

Ice Cream and free babysitting...






Yes please.

Nie Nie Day...

Hi friends and family,

Many of you have heard the news about Stephanie and Christian Nielson who were injured in a plane crash a few weeks ago. Stephanie is the author of the famous Nie Nie blog (http://www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/). Over the years she has shared with us some amazing pictures, a sweet soul and some pretty awesome food! She makes mothering seem just a little bit more special and a lot more adventurous than it seems in my house. Their recovery will be long and expensive. Gabby at Design Mom (http://www.designmom.com/ ) encouraged anyone that has read or known Nie Nie to find something, anything, to auction off on their blog. All proceeds will go to the Nie Nie Recovery Fund. So, Thursday is Nie Nie day and I am doing my part. I only have one small thing to auction off, but if you go to http://www.designmom.com/ you will find a list of all the wonderful things that the blog world has to offer for sale. Everything from homemade crafts to concert tickets. The goal is to open your checkbook and help raise money for their recovery fund. They have four small children that are being cared for by relatives until Stephanie and Christian are well enough to come back home (it will be many, many months before this can happen).

The whole Internet has been alive with news about this wonderful family. The accident happened while we were in Utah and I have not been up to date on this blog about the developments. If you haven't heard of any of this yet (or if you just want to cry big, fat, sloppy tears of happiness and gratitude) visit the blog of her sister at http://www.cjanerun.blogspot.com/ . This is where you will find everything there is to know about the amazing Neilson family. I first met Stephanie when she was only 10 or 11 years old. My best friend married her brother and for the last decade I have had the privilege of watching the Clark family in action. They were remarkable people before, but they are even more remarkable now. I am so proud of all of them as I watch them come together and embrace the needs and changes that are happening. I wish I could do more.

My auction is for this print. It is titled "Waiting". If you have followed Nie Nie's blog (or checked CJane's) you will know that it was a tradition in the Neilson family to let off balloons on special occasions with wishes written on them. Last Saturday, friends and family across the world did this in honor of them. When I saw this print at Sara Jane Studios Etsy shop, I knew that I wanted to get it. Not only does this young girl look like she could BE Stephanie (retro dress and all) but she has the balloon and is looking into the future. It seems very fitting for this auction. I have been a HUGE fan of Sara Jane for a long time and own several of her prints. She is also having a sale at her Etsy shop, so check her out at http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5317715 . The following is the description of the item:

--This illustration was drawn with pencil on paper, then digitally colored.

--Image measures 7x9" printed on 8 1/2x 11" paper, leaving a margin perfect for framing.

--Printed myself on gorgeous Hahnemuhle Museum Etching Paper: 350 gsm, Natural White, 100% rag, acid free, no brighteners; printed with archival pigment inks.

--These prints are lovely!All prints are shipped in a cellophane sleeve pieces of with a plastic panel for added support.

--I send my prints off to their happy new home within 1-3 days of payment.

--This print will come signed and dated in the lower right hand corner.

How this silent auction works:

--Please place your bid by leaving a comment with your Bid Amount in the comments section of this post.

--Following the close of the auction, the winner will pay for their item via the Stephanie and Christian PayPal account (access it via CJane's blog--I can't figure out how to put the button on here).

--The winner will then forward the PayPal receipt email to rebeccakbingham@yahoo.com with their mailing address. I will then have Sara Jane send the print directly to you.

--Please bid in increments of one dollar.

--The auction will end at Midnight (Your Time Zone) on Sunday, August 31.

Happy Bidding!!!

Also up for auction...

--My undying gratitude, manifested by my never asking you to babysit my kids.

--Household services (as long as you come to my house to get them and I can do them in between running the littles all over town..and that they don't take longer than 20 minutes. Oh and not ironing, I hate doing that).

--the best birth control money can buy (also known as 4 hours with my kids after a sleepless night--preferably during teething season). Just imagine it now, you can comb out Norah's hair while she screams "MINE" all the live long day (isn't age 2 a treat?), Jacob will tease the girls and hit things with sticks and Lu will be her typically cute, but bossy boots, 8 year old self. (I am not saying that I don't love my kids, I am just saying that after a day with them I can feel my ovaries shrink). Notice that I left Gracie out of this package deal. If I let you have her for any amount of time you would want to run out and have triplets with Down Syndrome. She is THAT yummy).

That print isn't looking so bad any more, eh? ;-)

Summer Vacation..

Words cannot express how happy I am that school is about to start. There will be no more fighting (at least during school hours) with the big kids and I can have a schedule again. I finally get why moms dread the dog days of summer. For me, it is because my children turn into dementors. They pretty much have sucked the joy out of all things fun this summer (I like them still, but seriously???? ).

We are going to have another summary post because I am very lazy. AND, I never get on the computer anymore and I just want to get a #*$&@ laptop and be done with it already. I want my blogging life back.

--We have our new nanny Maria. She is AN. ANGEL. STRAIGHT. FROM. HEAVEN. I worried about the expense and drama of having someone in our home all the time while I was here (some of the time). She is awesome. It is like having a smarter, more patient version of myself here with the kids. When I am running around trying to be the kids fed so we can get out the door, she has the time to help Norah (and at some point, Grace) practice the things she needs to learn how to do on her own; walking, dressing herself, going down the stairs, using a fork, etc, etc. I have seen SUCH changes in Norah already. She is confident and sassy. She is not a baby anymore (and as Maria told me on about day four "you must stop doing everything for her and stop treating her like a baby"). I am so proud of Norah and how hard she is working. I watch Maria turn every single experience during the day into a learning lab. Me too. Sometimes Maria deals with the big kids and I do the littles. All day long there is an internal dialogue running through my mind and it goes something like this "who can I make this activity help Norah practice her gross motor/fine motor/social/cognitive/speech skills?" All day long. It is work, but it is also WORKING.

--Grace is so cute and happy. She has a special face that is reserved only for her father (or, in her world, the bringer of all things wonderful). It is a sight to behold. It is almost like her face will split in half because she is so happy. I am still dealing with my issues over her life and future but have gotten to the point where her Down Syndrome is so much a part of who she is that while I still wish I could change it, there is the fact that changing that would change who she is because it is part of who she is...and I like here just how she is now. Confusing? Yes.

--Jacob has finally, finally mastered the potty. He has also mastered riding a bike with no training wheels. I really didn't think those things would happen in the same month, but this kid always surprises me. He also just figured out the whole "I am sick, can I have a Popsicle/candy/stay up later" thing. Good boy. I am always amazed and thrilled to see how gentle and kind he is with the little girls, especiall Norah. The other day he came in to tell me that she had taken her diaper off. He was very quick to follow up with "Mom, it was an accident. Don't get mad at her, just take a sticker off her chart, don't get mad mom". For the record, I don't get mad when NORAH takes her diaper off, but I do get mad when JACOB decides to take his big boys off and use the backyard as a bathroom.

--Lu has an opinion on what she wears. There is an excellent chance that anything I like, she will hate and vice versa. We had quite a time finding a dress for her baptism (for all you non LDS readers out there...in our church kids are baptized at age 8 and some families get a special "sort of nicer than a normal church dress" dress for their kids. Our main difference is that she wanted to look like a street walker (in the sweetest 8 year old way) and I wanted her to look 5. We finally found something that both of us liked, and by that I mean it had sleeves and no rhinestones and was longer than her knees. For her that meant she chose the color and it was the one dress that fit my standards but I liked the least. We both win/lose. Good times ahead for this mama and daughter team. I need to fortify myself before I will even think of school shopping with her.

--Derek has been working hard. It is a blessing to have work that he loves and does so well, but I had forgotten how it used to be. He used to put in these kind of hours all the time. Now it is the odd week or two, but still. I am thankful for his hard work and how well he takes care of our family. It isn't easy to pay attention to all the kids, help me out and do the things needed around the house all on 3-4 hours of sleep. But he manages to do it and I am very, very thankful for that. I am also thankful for the thousands of times when it would be so easy to snap at the kids (because after all, he is tired too and has put in a full 8 hours of work by lunch time) but instead he almost always puts on a patient face and listens to them (because seriously... they want to say more in the last 5 minutes of the day than in the rest of the day put together). Just when I think I can't hear ONE MORE Sponge Bob quote, he saves the day and acts interested. He sees them so little each day that it isn't OK for him to be short with them. It isn't technically ok for me to be short with them either, but they get other interaction with me all day long. He gets that and is really, really good about it.

--Me..... I am busy, busy, busy. Shocking, right? Mostly I am just spending my time taking children to doctors, therapists, preschool and trying to fill the needs of all my kids. I am tired. I can do this, but it might take more Diet Coke than normal. I am thankful for the DVD player in the minivan that lets the kids watch their kids stuff while I listen to things like books on tape and NPR..things that make me feel like my mind is still KIND OF working. I am meeting lots of really cool people that I might not have crossed paths with if I wasn't doing all the stuff for the little girls. I am very thankful for that.

We are off to Utah for a visit with friends and family in just a few hours. We have a few birthdays, two anniversaries and some hard core catching up to do while we are gone. I am looking forward to having my mom pay attention to my kids, teaching Lu to water ski, sleeping in, eating at Dairy Keen, celebrating my 11th anniversary and eating at Training Table this week (I am seeing a food theme....).

Happy End of Summer to you all! See you in a few weeks.

Gratuitious Acie photo...

These cheeks KILL me...


Guess who is rolling over? Guess who is totally on target developmentally on the typical kids timeline? I know that things will change soon, but we have a very strong little girl here. MUCH stronger than Norah ever was....

Two years later, part two...

Her two year old photo shoot. I know, I know, the theme song of "Shaft" is running through my head too. She is a total Foxy Brown in the is outfit....

Look Grandma, this is WALKING!!! That is right internet, we have a walker!

So, when we left off last time we had just met our little girl for the first time. Awww, sweet. We are going to fast forward a months. Let me assure you that we spent LOTS of time with Norah's family before they went home to the Bahamas. We even heard Grandpa preach a very feisty sermon as a guest preacher at a church in SLC... Her mom, T didn't want us to have a picture of her (boo) but I am sure that in this internet age we will find one someday to show Norah....... I am so thankful for the time we had with them. It was important for me to feel some sort of connection with them so that someday I could tell Norah about her mom. They named her Hope and we called her Norah Hope. I wanted to name her after Derek's grandmother, whom I was very close to. Norah's names represent some very beautiful and brave women. She will understand that someday.



Norah has always, always, always been a very mellow baby. She was so easy to have around. She slept all the time, she ate like a charm (but always was really tiny--she wore her preemie clothes for almost five months). This started out as kind of a joke, but it wasn't too long before I started to sense that something was different with this girl. Different in the bad way. She seemed really floppy--but we kind of chalked that up to just having had Jacob, who is REALLY, REALLY, FREAKISHLY STRONG. She didn't roll over. She didn't raise her head. She didn't crawl. I remember asking my doctor about it when she was 9 months old. She didn't EVER support her weight on her legs. She didn't even try to crawl. Sitting up was still iffy. I kept asking my doctor about it and they kept telling me to wait until she as 18 months old. That seemed to be the magic age. They don't really worry about not walking or talking until then. As a more experienced mamma, now I know I should have pushed harder, insisted on more, but I just didn't know. Her 18 month mark hit right as I found out about Grace and all her potential issues..and those appointments didn't get made as quickly as they should have.


So here we are at two with a girl that has made SO MUCH PROGRESS, but is still very behind. Unlike Grace, Norah doesn't have a diagnosis beyond "failure to thrive". That means she is tiny and doesn't put on weight, she doesn't hit her developmental goals on time and needs help in at least 4 of the 6 developmental areas. These are 1) Language and Communication, 2) Concept Development and Pre-Academics, 3) Social and Emotional Development, 4) Gross Motor (e.g., sitting, walking, running), 5) Fine Motor (e.g., manipulating small objects, toys), and 6) Self-Help or Adaptive (e.g., feeding and dressing oneself). Check, check and check. So what do we do now?

We finally got the referral for an evaluation and lucked out to have a great social worker. She made sure we went to to the right doctors and did things in the right way. We are now knee deep in the early intervention program where Norah is getting (or will be shortly--those pesky waiting lists...) occupational therapy (there are a few sensory issues), physical therapy (gross motor skills and her hypotonia --that is medical for low muscle tone...), blind babies (not totally sure what that one is yet..some sort of eye therapy for after her surgery next week), speech therapy (self explanatory) and some behavior therapy (she doesn't cope too well..she is pretty much a kid that is either a 0 or 100. There isn't much in between. This leads us to think that she has a hard time transitioning). Good times, huh? I have a strong feeling that by the time she is in kindergarten or thereabouts, she will be all caught up and this will all be a fading memory. I think we will still have to help her find ways of coping with some things, but that is as much a function of her personality as anything else. A mellow, easy going kid just is. Motivation is a tricky one..

With all of that background it would be easy to think of our girl as just a bunch of issues, but it really isn't that way. I record it here for a few reasons, so we remember, so she will know and so others that find my blog and have kids with similar issues can either read about our story and progress or offer info and advice. When you get sucked into the "special needs" world, a whole new set of parenting info, lingo and learning curve takes over your life for a little while. It is always nice to have a network that know what they are doing...

The reality is that life with our little Norah is lots of fun. As I have said, she is my mellow girl, but she is also very good at getting what she wants. She shouted "MINE" at Cubby on her birthday when he tried to take her presents. I don't worry too much about her being bullied. I don't worry about how we will motivate her to want to do things that she doesn't want to do (so far, eating and walking....). She also is my sweet child. She loves to give kisses and has never passed a purse or pair of shoes that she didn't want to try and wear. She has the greatest hair in the world and is so patient while I condition it, brush it, braid it and tug at it. She loves wearing beads and clips now (she calls them her 'pretty girls'). She is is the best playmate because she will both roughhouse with Cubby and play "baby" with Lulu. She is my only child that loves "babies". She was thrust into big sister mode with the arrival of Grace, and maybe not coincidentally, she hit some major milestones not too long after that. She stood for the first time. She consistently used words (my baby--meaning Grace" being the first and most frequent). She is now starting to walk and be interested in potty training and sleeping in a big girl bed. The two year old tantrums are in full swing now too. Since I have done this a few times, I just laugh (and occasionally grit my teeth) and wait them out. She is picking up sign language really quickly. The whole family is learning so we will be ready when Gracie gets a big older. Her favorite signs so far are "cookie", "butter" and "chips". You'd think that with favorite words like that she would love to eat!

Hey! She is an Arrested Development fan so this apple didn't fall TOO far from the tree......

In Norah's world the facial expression above is a full on smile. This girl doesn't give it away.

Her favorite way to swim with Dad....


This isn't just another picture of a half naked baby who insists on wearing goggles... this is one with some actual meat on her bones... you can't see her ribs anymore. Progress!

This is a very rarely seen, rarely captured unguarded smile from my girl. She is usually giving us the sideways look that is half amused/half bored. Like this one below...


After her surgery on Friday, she should be able to see out of both eyes. I have to admit that I will miss her sideways looks, but I will enjoy her being able to use both eyes at the same time MORE (and I will NOT miss patching her... it is like patching a wildcat.... ).