Monday, November 26, 2007

Thanksgiving--by the numbers

Did everyone have a good Thanksgiving? Is there anyone out there that DIDN'T have a member of the family throwing up the entire day? I haven't heard of one yet. Maybe that is the new Thanksgiving tradition of our country.

We went with my husband's family to Park City, Utah. This is handy b/c my parents live really close by. So does my best friend. In theory, this would mean lots of fun social things and babysitting and visiting with family. In a perfect storm of awesomeness...none of that happened. So here it is, Turkey Day 2007 by the numbers...

Number of times someone threw up-- many, many, many....

Number of times it was on the plane -- 80%

Number of most consecutive hours of sleep by me or D -- 3

Number of times Jacob almost died during the long weekend -- 3 (not kidding)

Number of fun pre-planned social outings I attended -- 0

Number of times I had to go to the stupid outlet mall -- 4

Number of gifts I had to return on Black Friday after being really organized and buying the Christmas presents for the in laws in advance, only to find out that this year we are drawing names -- 8

Number of children I was ready to sell to the gypsies by the end of the trip (or to anyone, really) -- 2

Number of times I either tripped, dropped something or otherwise found out that my body does NOT seem to want to obey my brain -- eleventy million

Number of very beautiful, very expensive, band new white suede couches that my daughter managed to spill Vitamin Water all over and totally destroy -- 1

Number of times I watched Shrek 3 -- 10

Number of times I stayed awake past 7:30 pm -- 0

Number of times I will drag the whole family back to Park City for a holiday, even though it is a really nice house and wonderful opportunity -- 0

That is us. I really don't mean to make it so complain-y, but it was pretty comical. It really was a perfect storm of evil. My kids argued and fought. They tried to kill themselves (twice being hung by the bunk bed rails, once jumping off the third floor balcony), they got sick, they didn't sleep, they wandered the house all night (once Cubby woke up with a full bag of Doritos's clutched in his one knows where they came from....) and generally were a lot of work. That is what it comes down to, I think. It wasn't that we didn't have a good time and want to see the family, it was just a lot of work. I don't want to do it anymore. Is it terrible if I play the Down Syndrome card after this and just bow out? Seriously, my kids can argue, almost die and puke at our house just as easily as anywhere else. Right?

Who am I kidding? We will be back in a month.

How was your Thanksgiving? Seriously, did anyone have a healthy household? I am curious.


AzĂșcar said...

Not one of us was sick. Then again, my dad didn't make his famous pumpkin pie--a horrible oversight that we are still recovering from.

I'm glad Cubby is still alive.

Christy said...

Nobody puked but my stepdad did have to spend the morning in the ER. He thought he had kidney stones. It was something else equally as painful but he was back in time for us to discover that the oven wasn't working. We all just loaded up our plates and warmed them through in the microwave. Luckily, my mom had already prepared everything the day before so everything was cooked through that needed to be.

I'm glad you survived (even if just barely!).

compulsive writer said...

Healthy then, but now I have a nasty cold. According to my daughter it's because cooking makes one sick.

(Yay! for resilient kids.)

Hope to see you when you return!

Anonymous said...

If it is any consolation, your post has made my day.

I had a house full of brothers and sisiters in law, nieces and nephews, but believe it or not, no one got sick. I am really sorry for your miserable holiday, but I really needed to smile this am, so thanks! Nellie

Anonymous said...

No one was sick, but my brother in law's psychotic pregnant baby mamma chose this week to walk out on him, with no explanation, just the car she asked him to buy her a month before. But she "feels kinda bad about the car." He was on a plane from NY to CO a few hours later. Lots of bitching and sullenness for this family on Thanksgiving! But at least we didn't have to fly with the baby bird. For that, I am thankful as all heck.


Ana said...

Oh my, Bek. I'm so sorry, it sounds miserable. We have had one perfect-storm-of-evil trip like that, a driving trip to Phoenix when my big boys were 2 and 6mos. It involved a funeral and a lot of diarrhea and me contemplating divorce (if only very briefly).

The good thing about trips like that is you can come home.

We were healthy on Thanksgiving and the kids had a nice little Lord of the Flies party in the backyard while the grownups ate a nice dinner.

Hope the next holiday is better for you.

Anonymous said...

Healthy & fun here! lol Well, minus the couple of drunk relatives ;)

citymama1 said...

No one sick here, amazingly enough. I'm usually the one who gets all pukey around this time of year.

Glad your kiddos (and you) survived the adventurous weekend. And I agree, with you. I think at a certain point people should start coming to see YOU for the holidays. Especially if you have any children under the age of 5! That should trump all holiday travel debates. Ah well. Hope Christmas goes better for you.

Queen Scarlett said...

We were sick before Thanksgiving... it's times like the holidays that I'm grateful I grew up in a relatively small family.

It's like going into hell or battle with my husband's side. Just too many people. Crowds make me stressed.

I prefer peaceful holidays...otherwise it's not a holiday for my family. ;-)

GLAD Cubby is alive. Holy... how do you do it? You and AZ... you pull through the chaos with strength and humor. I so admire that.

Bek said...

Yay! So many healthy families.

I reread the post and I really didn't mean to sound so whiny. It was really actually funny. After awhile D and I just looked at each other with a "what the?" expression and laughed.

I am also glad Cubby is alive. Even if it is not for his lack of trying to off himself. That child amazes me.... I am afraid we are dangerously close to the end of his 9 lives...

Leisha said...

I totally got the humor...probably because we have had similar vacations and/or holidays.

This year was just us, nice and calm, lots of napping and eating. I'm finding that it is only when a lot is planned for or anticipated that all hell breaks loose.

Have fun recovering from your "vacation"!

Kathy's Korner said...

I'm so proud...we did the puking thing the week BEFORE the holiday. ;) LOL.

Seriously though, Christmas Eve is our time will tell!

Glad Cubby is still alive and well

tracy m said...

We were all sick, too. Although no one almost died. Unless me almost killing them counts? Does it?

Geo said...

I got thrown up ON by my baby namesake, and now I've got her cold. Who cares? She's adorable.

Sorry you had a Turkey Torture weekend! Thanks for sharing your evil with us in such a humorous way.

And I say, when the time comes, play that Downs card when you need to!

liz said...

oh Bek I am already feeling the nervous energy of stress about traveling for the holidays with my 2 kids. It's totally OT to travel with kids- staying in someone else's home is always hard cos it's not baby proofed to fit the limits of your kids no matter how hard everyone tries. It's extra work and never down time for the mom cos there needs to be waaaay more constant supervision since it not your home/ stuff.