My son, the contortionist

My son has an amazing talent, well two really, but I am only going to address one here. He can fit into the SMALLEST spaces and sit perfectly still. Fun, huh? He also will sit silent and still just long enough for me to think that he has somehow gotten out the door, out the gate and is on his way to Safeway. Unfortunately, that has happened more then once. I swear that I am a very attentive mother, but he is FAST and CUNNING. He actually ripped a hole in my screen door to escape once. We have 6 screen doors on the bottom floor and I really can't watch them all at the same time. Luckily, Lauren broke me in on all this stuff. Our old house was across the street from a Walgreens. We would walk over and get ice cream sometimes or play with the toys. The SECOND Lulu could get the door open she was off to Walgreens. Once I was sitting in my front room while she played on our back porch. I glanced out the window to see my 20 month old child running across the parking lot as fast as she could. She had wiggled under the fence to freedom. That was when the "30 second rule" was instituted in our home. More then 30 seconds of silence always meant trouble so I would call out "Lauren, what are you doing?". Even now she will just announce to me out of nowhere "I am ok mom!". Old habits die hard.

In the last 48 hours I have found my son in the following places:

1. Under my mother in law's sink--behind the boxes of detergent--with the door closed.

2. Behind my mother in law's big family room drapes.

3. Under MY sink, with the door closed

4. Under the wing chair in the kitchen. There is approximately 4 inches of space. I still don't know how he got in there.

5. Under my keyboard tray in the computer armoire, again with the door closed. There is so little space in there that I have to move the CPU just to get the door closed.

6. Between the back of the toilet and the wall. You know the little space between the floor and the tank. Perfect.

7. Under my bed. Again, 4 inches of space and in between all the dust bunnies and old clothes that I store under there.

8. In my chimney, sitting on the fake logs with the chain mail curtain thingy pulled shut, oh--he also had his little cow tricycle with him, on his lap.

9. In the refrigerator of the toy kitchen.

10. In the hall closet behind the shoe basket, with the door closed and the light off.

11. In Derek's closet. We have lots of boxes stored in his closet (the kind with the sliding doors). Jacob loves to wedge himself between the boxes and the door and pull the door closed. There is so little space that he has to turn his head sideways.

I am amazed that he can get into these places and has enough awareness to be still and quiet-- until he can't stand it any more and starts to laugh. I am also learning that he isn't afraid of the dark. It is clear that this is a fabulous game to him and he is winning. He has also figured out how to get out of his Britax 5 point harness car seat..arms AND legs. He has been escaping from his high chair since the age of 8 months old. I still can't figure out how he can get the doors closed. The very best part of all though is that he does it all with his Batman mask on. I know that at 16 months old he can't possibly understand what he is doing, can he?

The thing that makes me feel better is that I have a friend that has been through all this before. Oh Judy has a son that makes JJ look like Pollyanna. I can't remember all the things that he has done (there is another blog for you Judy--or did you already do that?) but I know that some of his greatest hits include; hacking at a newly painted wall with the claw side of the hammer and climbing up a pole onto the roof (at 2) both scaring and impressing the neighbor kids. I guess this is just par for the course with little ones. More Caffeine also has quite a list of things that her wee man does, so I know that this is nothing yet. Elpasorepresent's daughter seems to be right on track too. All too soon we will move from funny things to destructive things. As long as no one tells me this is a sign of some rare and terrible disease, I can live with it. If you wanna make me feel better you can tell me about your kids greatest hits.

P.S. The second talent that he has is that he can whistle. Honest to goodness whistling, both sucking in and blowing out. And he does it ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!!!!!!