Monday, October 08, 2007

Don't pass out...

I know it has been about 5 months since I have posted. Sheesh. It only felt like 4. I do appreciate all the notes and inquires and well wishes that I have gotten on comments and e mail. You have all wondered how I was doing and where I was. My parents have wondered what their grandchildren look like. And all this time I thought that if I disappeared off the face of the earth, no one would notice until the children ate all the candy in the house, then the food storage and finally each other until the remaining child (I put my odds on Cubby) would wander in to civilization where the authorities would find me in my bed with reruns of America's Next Top Model on loop in the background.

So why the long break and what have I been doing? Let me give you a wee update. When I last left you, we were remodeling our house and living with the in laws. That was pretty great. They love my kids, they have plenty of room, Direct TV and each child got their own room. In fact, it was only after moving back that I realized the reason the big kids fight so much at home is because they are forced to be in the same room much of the time. If we only had a giant house where no one had to interact with anyone else. That would bring me the peace that I crave. Just kidding. Sort of.
During the time that we were at my in laws, there was a lot that happened. It was a blessing actually that we were with people who could help us. I am not going to share the details here, but I will say that over the summer our family experienced an earthquake. A tsunami really. Have you ever had an experience that was so huge, so mind numbing and earth shattering that you feel like your soul broke into million, billion pieces and it suddenly became too hard to think about breathing, eating or sleeping? Don't worry, no one is dying or anything like that, it was just a really, really hard summer. It was a summer that made me rethink and reevaluate my life and myself and my family and everything else that I hold dear. It colored everything with a changed my view of the past and possibilities for the future. It was all I could do to keep my head up, keep the kids fed and just keep plugging away. The good news is that we have lots of support and things are moving along. 5 months later, I feel like some of the pieces are starting to be put back together and that I can see into the future where things will be OK. Don't you hate it when people say big stuff like this and then don't give you details. If I was reading this, I would want details too, but too bad. It was a personal issue and it is getting resolved. I just wanted to share it because I know that we all have a point in our life when we realized that nothing will ever be the same again. It could be something that happens to our kids, or our parents, or death or a divorce or anything really, but chances are, we will have have that moment. It can feel like you will never be happy or peaceful or normal again. It isn't a picnic, but it is possible to find a new kind of normal with some help and support from people who know and love us. Just keep this in mind. I cannot tell you how much it has meant to me to have people in my life check in on me (both face friends and blog friends). To have people remind me that there is a world out there, that I am a decent person, etc. I guess I just want to say that if you feel inspired to send a note or pick up the phone, do it. Most of those that reached out to me had NO idea I was right in the middle of a really traumatic summer. Just be aware of those things and act on them. It is important. On to more important stuff. The kids.


Jacob has finally stopped being a holy terror (mostly) and is a real boy. He is still a handsome little stinker, but has learned the skill of charming the ladies and can put on quite a show. He actually bats his eyelashes while smiling and saying please. He loves to perform (our current favorite game is the "pick up something and pretend it is heavy while saying "whoa" and weaving around). This one gets performed mostly in Target and the grocery store. The older ladies love it. I just think of it as street theater. He also knows how to push Lulu's buttons. He knows exactly which toy to steal or how to put her in a headlock and get the fastest, loudest reaction. That is just what brothers do, I guess. All too soon he will be teaching her swear words and I will long for the days when the biggest issue was how many of her Polly's that he stole. All in all, he is a fun kid. He just turned three this weekend and I wish I could say he is getting bigger, but he isn't. I long to crack out the 2T clothes. Maybe next year.

Jacob is obsessed with pirates. He wears this stuff all the time. Arghhhhh

He can still get into some trouble. This is how I found out he can climb the counters.


Lu is now 7. She has lost one million teeth and begged me to let her cut her hair, so I did. The very last remnants of my baby are gone. She is a full scale tween. She has an opinion about her clothing (the nerve), what she watches on TV and all kinds of other fun things that make me realize that I really might have to send her to boarding school when she is 12. She is a big time second grader now and is a whiz at match. Spelling, not so much. She loves school and still doesn't seem to have too many friends, but doesn't act too bothered about it. She spends her recess time in the library helping to check in books or walking around the playground with one of the teachers. I am only a little worried about this. I worry if she is socializing well enough. The good news is that I know she is a sharp kid and that she is kind a sweet. She will get it. She is a great helping around the house and is currently keeping her room spotless in hopes of convincing us that she can have a turtle. It isn't going to happen, but I will enjoy the clean room while it lasts.

Lu would rather be up a tree and upside down as much as possible

Piano lessons will start soon. She loves to pretend to play. Lets see if she loves to practice when the time comes, eh?

Lu loves to read to the kids and Jacob loves to copy whatever she does...

Finally, a day of rain so she can use her umbrella

Lauren was in the ballet "Copelia" this spring. She was great!


I love afro-puffs in her hair, plus I can do them.

My sweet girl Norah. I know we aren't supposed to say this, but she is my favorite. For now. I am not sure if it is because she is currently the only child that doesn't sass me, she is always happy to see me and laughs at everything I say. Actually, I am sure that is why. Norah (or No-no as the kids call her) is a joy to parent. She is a pretty quiet kid mostly, she sings and babbles to herself much of the time. She loves to stand at the train table and play and eat things off the floor (less sweeping for me, yay). She has Jacob totally figured out and many times a day Cubby will come running to me to tattle on Norah. If he has something she wants, she just chases him and takes it. He isn't aggressive with her will let her get away with it and then cry. I have seen her corner him on the couch. It is better than TV. When N decided that she is not happy about something, we know it, the neighbors know it and even the most tortured soul in the pit of hell knows it. She has an unholy shriek that would terrify even the most hardened soul. Lucky for us she doesn't use her power very often. She is my only baby that is obsessed with the toilet. She is also a climber. She climbs from her high chair to the table, up the shelves, etc. So far she has only figured out up, not down. If I put her on the couch, she stays and is stuck. She can't get down but is smart enough to not want to fall off. It is heaven. I have also been doing her hair. I'll give you a sample. Warning: the best hairstyles were done by my babysitter. She is black and does amazing things with her hair. When it is all braided, she looks like a real girl and not a baby. Norah is also obsessed with books. I can hand her a magazine and she will turn the pages and rip it up and be occupied for a very long time. Norah has also been a little bit behind, developmentally, since she was born. At 16 months she can crawl but she doesn't try to walk. She can stand but doesn't really like to. It isn't anything to worry about yet and I am enjoying her being less mobile. My other two were early walkers, so this is great. Besides, this child can army crawl with 14 things in her hands faster than your kid can walk, so she gets the job done.

When your child's hair looks like this (complete with stuff stuck in it), you know it is time to keep it braided.

She has such a pretty smile. Look, finally teeth!

Check out the braids (I didn't do these). N was not impressed w/ the pumpkin patch.


Finally, this won't be news to most of you, but we are adding another member to the family. Yes, it is true. Just days after deciding that three kids was the perfect number I found out that I was pregnant (a funny and strange story on its own). My body doesn't tend to want to STAY pregnant, so when we kept going back to Dr. appointments and kept seeing a heart beat, we were shocked. Now, at 16 weeks, I believe it. I am still in denial (much easier to do now that the vomiting has stopped). We will have until April to figure it out. Yikes. Having three kids ages three and under is what scares me most. We will have three kids in high school at the same time. Wow. I am sure that it is a boy, but we won't know for sure for another month. I have also decided that Derek can name this one, I get veto power, so I don't have to think about names at all, which is nice. I pretty much named Jacob and Norah, so I will give him this one.

That is us. I'll start blogging more regularly now. I have lots of pictures and soon will put up shots of the new house stuff and Cubby's birthday, etc.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. I hope you are all doing well. I have been reading so I am up to date on most of you..... have a great week.


Jenni said...

It's news to me! Congratulations! And three kids aged three and under - allow me to be the voice of experience that says it's a piece of cake...very, very tired cake. Tired, unshowered, permenantly frazzled cake. With loads of delciously fun frosting. With rainbow sprinkles. Ok, enough of this really bad metaphor. In all honesty, I can't really say how easy or rough three under three is when one of them is a newborn, but I can say that I absolutely love having kids so close in age. I'm sorry your summer was so rough. I was afraid that your absence was bad news; I'm glad to hear that you're pulling through. The kids look like they've weathered well; they're all freaking adorable. Welcome back, woman.

Bek said...

Thanks!! It really is the newborn thing that is making me nervous. Cubby and Norah play really well together now..they are 18 months apart. The next two will be 19 months. Yikes.

It was good to catch up on you too. Glad the kiddo's are doing well (and you..). I totally got the metaphor

AzĂșcar said...

I am so glad you're back, and no pressure, but I've missed your regular updates, great sense of humor, and well, just YOU.

I'm so sorry for the bad times, it honestly stinks. When things are bad it makes us appreciate the good times every more. Easy for me to say NOW, right?

Melanie said...

Glad you're back!!! Congrats!!!!!


Julie P said...

Glad you're back. Be well and be comfortable!!

(did you get my e-mails?)

citymama1 said...

Glad your back and congratulations! You're kids are so adorable, I can barely stand it.

Christy said...

Welcome back! I've missed all the fun stories with the kids and seeing the pictures. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Norah's hair.

Congrats on your new addition and I'm glad you survived your rough summer.

mak said...


Welcome back! I'm a little embarassed to say I got a little misty when I saw the pics of Norah with her hair done up- she looks like such a "big girl". So cute!

Speaking of "big girl" I love the pics of Lulu, too- esp. the ballet ones!

Kacy said...

So WE don't get to suggest names? I beg your pardon?

Bek said...

Yes...suggest away. I love the name you chose, and Emily named her daughter after seeing my daugters name on the blog. I can suggest, I just don't really care.... (and please, no made up names or names that end in "aden" ie, Jaden, Brayden, Caden, etc...)

cynthia said...

We think the close up picture of lulu in her copelia costume looks exactly like Dakota Fanning!
We are so excited to see those kids! By the way, the next pictures you need to post are of the changes to your house! I could see a little in the background, but I want close-ups!!
I'm glad you are back in the blogging world! I've missed your posts.

Johnna said...

Yeah, the Bek is back! I'm so sorry you've had such a challenge(s) to work through this summer. I wish you the best, happy smiles, and congrats on Skeletor.

Jennifer B. said...

Condolonces on your tough summer and congratulations on your pregnancy! Wow, you have been through a lot. It's nice to see you back.

Lucky Red Hen said...

By the looks of it I'd agree that Skeletor is a he (wow, is he a HE). I loved reading every last letter of your post and applaud you for telling some, but not all, and not being whiny about it like you're looking for attention or will go postal. I like that you are strong like that (well, NOW you are anyway)


sarah said...

I'm just glad your back... We missed you!

Jill said...


Love your blog and have missed it. I so relate to this post and have experienced one of those life changing moments where you think nothing will ever ever be the same. It has been three years and while things are still very hard. I've come to accept my "new normal". The tender mercies from the Lord manifested through the service and kind words of others is what helped me through...and what still gets me through. Honestly, one of the choicest blessings of going through a trial is realizing the Heavenly Father is indeed very involved in your day to day life.

lisa v. clark said...

I'm glad that you are back to blogging. I can't believe how big the kids are. Norah, especially!

You are my hero!

Mayhem said...

Yeah! You're back! Congratulations on the coming baby!

Your kids look so grown up (except for the youngest, I guess). Norah's hair is beautiful.

I'm sorry for your tough summer, and glad you're all okay. I was worried about you!

wendysue said...

Yippee! I did have to pick myself up off the floor when I saw a new date on your blog!

I'm so glad you're back. I hate when life sends us storms that seem to pull us under and sometimes we don't even care if we're up or down (I had one of my own a few years ago). I'm glad you made your way to the top and can see that it's still a pretty view. Love you!

Those pictures!! Adorable! Love the matching girls and Cubby is as cute as ever!!

Syd said...

Ahhh, Bek. Thanks for the kid picture fix. Oh, that Norah, what a doll. I can't believe how big she is. Cubby is adorable as ever and sweet Lu, what a doll!! I'm so glad to see you back. Sounds like quite the summer. I could totally relate to you. I've had a few too many of those moments for my liking. One was almost 4 years ago, and I feel like I'm finallly getting back to 'me'. I need to call you. Do I have your #? Send it to me in email if you can. You're amazing. Huge huge cyber hugs to you!!

La Yen said...

Thank heavens you are back--I missed you and your cheese-eating.
Do you think you can do MY hair in Afro Puffs?

Bek said...

Yen, I will do afro puffs (and even cornrows) for you anytime. Put only if you promise to sit still and not cry...

thanks to the rest of you. It is nice to be missed!

Miriam said...

You were missed!

I'm glad you're back and sorry to hear it was/is a tough time.

Funny, I'm pregnant (due end of march, so pretty close!) and also maybe adopting a toddler (we have one of those already) and the toddler scenario scares me WAY more. I guess it's the devil I don't know...


Rachel said...

i love the updates of your kids. and, you're one strong mama!

Emily S. said...

You are great! You are strong! You are pregnant! That's wonderful news. Good luck!

more caffeine, please said...

I'm so glad you're back! I've missed the Jacob stories. And big congrats on the baby!

~j. said...

I love hearing about how your kids interact with each other.

Love and a hug!

wendy said...

I am SOOO happy to hear from you again. I have checked faithfully for an update and always read your comments on other people's blogs. Sorry I am a freak. I have been wondering what was going on and hoping all was well. I am so sorry that you had a horrible summer.

Your children just got cuter in the last 5 months! I can't believe how much older they all look. And HUGE congrats on baby #4! What a treat. I look forward to finding out the gender and seeing his/her photos next spring.

I am glad you are back Bek!

Wendy from Flippin' Sweet (I changed my password--email me if you need it: eightgumdrops AT yahoo DOT com.)

wendy said...

That's supposed to say "Your kids just got EVEN cuter in the last 5 months."

Queen Scarlett said...

So glad to have you back. You are a rock. And so fun to read about the kiddies. Holy cow they are growing and cuter and... wow. Can't wait to meet number 4. ;-) A little miracle after the storm.

compulsive writer said...

I'm so happy I could cry!

Erin said...

Big hugs! It is good to "hear" from you again. I am so sorry for whatever you have gone through this summer.

Big congrats on the baby though, and all of the kids are just gorgeous as always.

Please do keep in touch. (we're at it again if you hadn't heard...)


Tablogger said...

Awesome to see your blog back up and running. And it inspired me to make my first posting in 19 months...(my shameless plug for more visitors to my blog)

Congratulations on your exciting news! We are so happy for you guys and wish we could see you more often.

Emily said...

I think about you all the time as the source of our Norah's name. Thank you, thank you. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope your heart is coming back together nicely.

I live in Utah now, so let's plan on meeting sometime when next you're here. Please!

tracy m said...

Holy crap Bek!! I'm so happy you're back! Now I have to go read everything- I just couldn't wait to say how much I love you and am happy to see you here again!! Yay!!

sue-donym said...

So glad you are back. I hope the storms are gone and you can enjoy your pregnancy in peace.

Your children are absolutely beautiful. I love hearing your stories about them.

Suzie Petunia said...

Hooray! You're back! I have loved reading your update. Your kids have grown so much! And your pregnancy! So exciting. I wish all the best for you and your family. It sounds like life is chugging along as it should. I've missed you!

liz said...

i am sad you had a rough summer, but it sounds like you are on an upswing (?).

your writing totally cracks me up, you have a great writing voice. missed reading from your space!

congratulations on baby (boy?!) can't wait to hear if your gender guess is right. you will do great, he/ she will blend so well and things might be easier/ more calm in your life upon arrival and such a blessing to get you for a mommy!

great shots btw, it helps, of course, that your children are darling no matter the angel of the camera. ;-)

Heather said...

Wow!!! Baby #4 is big news to me!!! WOW!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS! So glad you're back. Sorry to hear about the rough summer. I've been checking in on you and have been wondering and worrying about the long absence. Glad you're back now. :)

shell said...

i came across your blog and just wanted to say, you can do 3 under 3!! we have 5 5 and under (5,5,3,3,2). yes they will ALL be in HS at the same time for TWO years. it is great they are the best of friends. you can do it!

Leisha said...

Wow, on a whim I decided to check in here today and was amazed at all the updates! Hooray! I was diligently checking up until, oh, September, but had finally given up!

Congrats on baby #4! Woo! We are adopting child #3! Woo!

Norah's hair is took me until age 2 1/2 to get any afro-puffs...I'm so jealous!