Don't pass out...

really.

I know it has been about 5 months since I have posted. Sheesh. It only felt like 4. I do appreciate all the notes and inquires and well wishes that I have gotten on comments and e mail. You have all wondered how I was doing and where I was. My parents have wondered what their grandchildren look like. And all this time I thought that if I disappeared off the face of the earth, no one would notice until the children ate all the candy in the house, then the food storage and finally each other until the remaining child (I put my odds on Cubby) would wander in to civilization where the authorities would find me in my bed with reruns of America's Next Top Model on loop in the background.

So why the long break and what have I been doing? Let me give you a wee update. When I last left you, we were remodeling our house and living with the in laws. That was pretty great. They love my kids, they have plenty of room, Direct TV and each child got their own room. In fact, it was only after moving back that I realized the reason the big kids fight so much at home is because they are forced to be in the same room much of the time. If we only had a giant house where no one had to interact with anyone else. That would bring me the peace that I crave. Just kidding. Sort of.

During the time that we were at my in laws, there was a lot that happened. It was a blessing actually that we were with people who could help us. I am not going to share the details here, but I will say that over the summer our family experienced an earthquake. A tsunami really. Have you ever had an experience that was so huge, so mind numbing and earth shattering that you feel like your soul broke into million, billion pieces and it suddenly became too hard to think about breathing, eating or sleeping? Don't worry, no one is dying or anything like that, it was just a really, really hard summer. It was a summer that made me rethink and reevaluate my life and myself and my family and everything else that I hold dear. It colored everything with a changed my view of the past and possibilities for the future. It was all I could do to keep my head up, keep the kids fed and just keep plugging away. The good news is that we have lots of support and things are moving along. 5 months later, I feel like some of the pieces are starting to be put back together and that I can see into the future where things will be OK. Don't you hate it when people say big stuff like this and then don't give you details. If I was reading this, I would want details too, but too bad. It was a personal issue and it is getting resolved. I just wanted to share it because I know that we all have a point in our life when we realized that nothing will ever be the same again. It could be something that happens to our kids, or our parents, or death or a divorce or anything really, but chances are, we will have have that moment. It can feel like you will never be happy or peaceful or normal again. It isn't a picnic, but it is possible to find a new kind of normal with some help and support from people who know and love us. Just keep this in mind. I cannot tell you how much it has meant to me to have people in my life check in on me (both face friends and blog friends). To have people remind me that there is a world out there, that I am a decent person, etc. I guess I just want to say that if you feel inspired to send a note or pick up the phone, do it. Most of those that reached out to me had NO idea I was right in the middle of a really traumatic summer. Just be aware of those things and act on them. It is important. On to more important stuff. The kids.

Jacob

Jacob has finally stopped being a holy terror (mostly) and is a real boy. He is still a handsome little stinker, but has learned the skill of charming the ladies and can put on quite a show. He actually bats his eyelashes while smiling and saying please. He loves to perform (our current favorite game is the "pick up something and pretend it is heavy while saying "whoa" and weaving around). This one gets performed mostly in Target and the grocery store. The older ladies love it. I just think of it as street theater. He also knows how to push Lulu's buttons. He knows exactly which toy to steal or how to put her in a headlock and get the fastest, loudest reaction. That is just what brothers do, I guess. All too soon he will be teaching her swear words and I will long for the days when the biggest issue was how many of her Polly's that he stole. All in all, he is a fun kid. He just turned three this weekend and I wish I could say he is getting bigger, but he isn't. I long to crack out the 2T clothes. Maybe next year.

Jacob is obsessed with pirates. He wears this stuff all the time. Arghhhhh

He can still get into some trouble. This is how I found out he can climb the counters.

Lulu

Lu is now 7. She has lost one million teeth and begged me to let her cut her hair, so I did. The very last remnants of my baby are gone. She is a full scale tween. She has an opinion about her clothing (the nerve), what she watches on TV and all kinds of other fun things that make me realize that I really might have to send her to boarding school when she is 12. She is a big time second grader now and is a whiz at match. Spelling, not so much. She loves school and still doesn't seem to have too many friends, but doesn't act too bothered about it. She spends her recess time in the library helping to check in books or walking around the playground with one of the teachers. I am only a little worried about this. I worry if she is socializing well enough. The good news is that I know she is a sharp kid and that she is kind a sweet. She will get it. She is a great helping around the house and is currently keeping her room spotless in hopes of convincing us that she can have a turtle. It isn't going to happen, but I will enjoy the clean room while it lasts.

Lu would rather be up a tree and upside down as much as possible

Piano lessons will start soon. She loves to pretend to play. Lets see if she loves to practice when the time comes, eh?

Lu loves to read to the kids and Jacob loves to copy whatever she does...

Finally, a day of rain so she can use her umbrella

Lauren was in the ballet "Copelia" this spring. She was great!

Norah

I love afro-puffs in her hair, plus I can do them.

My sweet girl Norah. I know we aren't supposed to say this, but she is my favorite. For now. I am not sure if it is because she is currently the only child that doesn't sass me, she is always happy to see me and laughs at everything I say. Actually, I am sure that is why. Norah (or No-no as the kids call her) is a joy to parent. She is a pretty quiet kid mostly, she sings and babbles to herself much of the time. She loves to stand at the train table and play and eat things off the floor (less sweeping for me, yay). She has Jacob totally figured out and many times a day Cubby will come running to me to tattle on Norah. If he has something she wants, she just chases him and takes it. He isn't aggressive with her will let her get away with it and then cry. I have seen her corner him on the couch. It is better than TV. When N decided that she is not happy about something, we know it, the neighbors know it and even the most tortured soul in the pit of hell knows it. She has an unholy shriek that would terrify even the most hardened soul. Lucky for us she doesn't use her power very often. She is my only baby that is obsessed with the toilet. She is also a climber. She climbs from her high chair to the table, up the shelves, etc. So far she has only figured out up, not down. If I put her on the couch, she stays and is stuck. She can't get down but is smart enough to not want to fall off. It is heaven. I have also been doing her hair. I'll give you a sample. Warning: the best hairstyles were done by my babysitter. She is black and does amazing things with her hair. When it is all braided, she looks like a real girl and not a baby. Norah is also obsessed with books. I can hand her a magazine and she will turn the pages and rip it up and be occupied for a very long time. Norah has also been a little bit behind, developmentally, since she was born. At 16 months she can crawl but she doesn't try to walk. She can stand but doesn't really like to. It isn't anything to worry about yet and I am enjoying her being less mobile. My other two were early walkers, so this is great. Besides, this child can army crawl with 14 things in her hands faster than your kid can walk, so she gets the job done.

When your child's hair looks like this (complete with stuff stuck in it), you know it is time to keep it braided.

She has such a pretty smile. Look, finally teeth!

Check out the braids (I didn't do these). N was not impressed w/ the pumpkin patch.

Skeletor

Finally, this won't be news to most of you, but we are adding another member to the family. Yes, it is true. Just days after deciding that three kids was the perfect number I found out that I was pregnant (a funny and strange story on its own). My body doesn't tend to want to STAY pregnant, so when we kept going back to Dr. appointments and kept seeing a heart beat, we were shocked. Now, at 16 weeks, I believe it. I am still in denial (much easier to do now that the vomiting has stopped). We will have until April to figure it out. Yikes. Having three kids ages three and under is what scares me most. We will have three kids in high school at the same time. Wow. I am sure that it is a boy, but we won't know for sure for another month. I have also decided that Derek can name this one, I get veto power, so I don't have to think about names at all, which is nice. I pretty much named Jacob and Norah, so I will give him this one.

That is us. I'll start blogging more regularly now. I have lots of pictures and soon will put up shots of the new house stuff and Cubby's birthday, etc.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. I hope you are all doing well. I have been reading so I am up to date on most of you..... have a great week.