A baby and a story...

Hey blogworld,

I finally have a few seconds when no one is crying and I have had a reasonable amount of rest. I think I can finally get all this down. I realize that the Africa stories are on hold...but I will get back to them, I promise. Blogger doesn't let me add pictures on a regular basis and I am getting ready to jump ship and go to one of the other hosts. I will post all the days and the pictures there....I am almost finished putting it all down....I appreciate your patience.

I have been home for about a week now and I am still trying to get caught up on laundry, sleep and get Lulu ready to go to school. I am feeling a little overwhelmed and I am cranky most of the time. Trust me, I am not a good person to know right now!! I am sorry for the delay in picture posting. I just managed to upload the pictures.....can you believe that? Me? Taking one whole week to upload pictures? Sheesh. I must be tired. My husband works as a research analyst for an investment bank and he works East Coast hours. He is out the door by 4:00 AM every morning and doesn't get home until about 6:30 PM. He goes to bed at around the same time the kids do. Because of the nature of his job (that being that he has to actually be able think and function during the day) he doesn't do baby night feeding duty too much. That is fine w/ me because he gets so little sleep in general, I don't want to add that to his plate, but about every third day he lets me sleep all night. The reason it is every third night is because by that third day I am ready to run away from home........he is keeping me sane. :-) Besides, I can lay on the couch and throw Cheetos at my kids all day if I need to. I just have to keep them alive and fed. I don't have to read things, process them and write reports on no sleep. It is a fair trade, trust me. He comes home and does all the kid bedtime duty. He has no life beside work and his kids and an occasional basketball game.

So, back to the baby story.

Ever since the drama last year we have known that at some point there would be another baby. I was ready around the first of the year, but Derek has been a little bit more hesitant. He has wanted to wait. In the meantime, I researched lots of agencies and started looking at international programs. I didn't think I could do a domestic situation again. After a few weeks of research, I decided that Ethiopia was the right program for us. The price was right, the program was really well run and orderly, and the kids were very healthy (physically and emotionally) even for US standards. We wanted another black child and this seemed like the right direction. At the time it only took a few months for a referral so we decided to start gathering papers and rethink the issue at the end of the summer. I was hoping that Derek and I would be on the same page by then. I set a mental deadline for myself to have the paper work done....the end of August. I continued to bug Derek about it and he continued to push back (I don't want you to think that he is a push over....not at all). Meanwhile, I put my energy into getting Africa charity stuff done.

The day after I got back from Africa was the 4th of July (remind me to tell you the story about going to his parents club for fireworks and all the members were treated to a special surprise concert by CAROL CHANNING. She is one thousand years old. It is that kind of club......) Derek mentioned in passing that he was ready to start on the paperwork for the next adoption. That was pretty much the opposite thing that he said THE DAY I left. Whatever......I went with it. I scheduled appointments for social workers, dr's and all the other stuff that needs to be done. Derek did mention in passing that he would miss not having a newborn. Just on a whim, I called an agency that I had talked to before. My friend Julie (aka Rarely Home Mom) had used them and had passed along a few situations where families were needed that already had black kids. I knew that there were very few domestic situations that we would consider. We wanted to know the family, but we didn't want to know them before...so we were looking at a closed adoption w/ potential to open it later. We didn't want to pay birth family expenses. It had to be in Utah...the laws are better for us and my parents lived there. That would save us time and energy and money when/if placement occurred. AND it had to be someone who was due soon, as in before we turned our papers in for Ethiopia. I figured or chances were slim, but you never know. In effect, we were saying "If we can have the 'perfect for us' adoption experience we will do it...if not, we are off to Africa". I called Yvonne and told her to keep her ear out for us if anything like that came up.

Three hours later we were matched.

What we knew was that the potential birth mom (referred to as T from here on out) was pretty young and was on her way to university. She is from the Caribbean and wanted the adoption closed. She didn't want to meet us, talk to us on the phone or even choose the family. This was an agency choice adoption. Her parents came to Utah with her from the Caribbean to support her while she was there to have the baby. The reason she came to the US is because it is very hard to adopt from the Bahamas. She also wanted to have some privacy and better health coverage. She chose the agency because it had the word "angel" in the name. She is very religious. Her dad is a Baptist preacher (and a very good one I might add..... we saw him in action). That was it. After all the drama and work w/ Cubby and Joey's situation, this seemed too easy. We were just told to wait for the phone call and bring a check. The reason the agency choose us was because we fit some of the biggest issues that they had. They wanted a family that was Christian, felt strongly about education and one were in the middle of their child raising years. Not a really young couple and not one that was in their 40's. The family kept saying that they wanted to come to town, have the baby and then go home and pretend it never happened. The case workers really felt strongly that at some point family would realize that they wanted to have pictures, letters and maybe even meet us. They wanted to choose a family that would embrace the idea of an open or semi open adoption. That was us. In fact, it was exactly what we wanted. They are good because that is exactly what happened.

A week after we were matched the caseworker called me and said the family wanted to see pictures of us in a profile and to see a letter. This is very common w/ domestic adoption. Usually families want to choose the adoptive family. On the one hand, I was really glad to see this b/c it meant that T was starting to take an active role in the process. Since we know that at first she wanted to come to Utah, have the baby, leave and pretend like it never happened. I don't personally think that is the most healthy way to do it. I have met and known enough birth mothers to know that isn't the best way to process something as huge and devastating an monumental as placing a child. I also knew that it meant that they might not like what they see and want to choose another family. That made me a little bit sad, but ultimately, I was happy to see T taking an active role in this. The ladies at the agency kept telling us how much they loved this family, how supportive the parents were being of her making a choice either way. They were there to support and protect their girl. She did not want to parent and she wanted to go to school. There were a few other complications that made T's parents raising the baby difficult, but they told her they would do it if she wanted them to. T seemed really set on it, but she seemed to have a fairly realistic vision of what both parenting and placing were (as much as you can). So, late Thursday night I set about making a profile and felt profoundly sad. I was prepping myself for not being chosen and was a little bit frustrated at myself for already being excited and even buying an outfit (that is the sure fire way to jinx a domestic adoption in our case). At 6:00 am Friday morning the case worker called me and said "Today is the day!". I have never been so surprised in my life. "What? She is in labor?". We were told to get on a plane and get out there. I asked if we still needed to bring a profile and they told us that the family figured that this was God's way of saying they had the right family............That was the answer I needed to hear before I got on a plane that if they decided to place, they were pretty sure they wanted to place with us.

We got on the plane...kids in tow and just worried the whole way out. We were worried about going to the hospital and meeting the baby and the family and still having it be up in the air. We just didn't want to bond w/ anyone until it was all said and done. This actually goes against what I believe is the best way to do an adoption, but our hearts were still too fragile. We didn't buy a ticket for Cubby. We thought that between the three of us, we would have enough room for him. The one hour and 20 minute ride was a treat. It was like having a very tired and cranky wild goat jump from lap to lap the entire time. We made a mental note that next time, the wild goat needed to be medicated and strapped into a straight jacket AND THEN a car seat. I wouldn't have cared if a seat cost 10,000$. I would have bought him one right then and there if I could have!! We got off the plane in Salt Lake and had a message on the phone that the baby was born and everyone was ok. She is tiny (5 lbs) but healthy and fine. The family wanted to have the time to themselves and not meet us that night. Again, it was one of those moment that was sad and happy at the same time. I was happy that I wouldn't be emotionally invested in this until it was done, but sad because they still had a lot of things to think about and knew she might parent (which is truly ok with us, just emotionally charged). We took the kids to Grandma's and waited.
Norah at 2 days old..leaving the hospital

Derek dressing the little one before taking her home. This isn't a great picture
but I like that it shows how tiny she is compared to his hand. Her whole are
was the same width as his finger...her head the size of his palm...

By the way, we didn't tell Lauren why we were going out of town. We didn't want her to get excited or worried, etc. It is too hard. She kept saying "why didn't you tell me we were going to see Grandma?" "Why didn't you pack before this morning? Mom, you are silly!!" :-) It was funny. On the way to the airport we asked her what she wanted for her birthday and we got the standard answer "a locket or a sister". We figured we could make sure she came home with one or the other......

On Saturday, the social worker told us that the family was still very sure about signing and we should meet them at the hospital at 4:00 pm but that we should bring our profile anyway. At this point they didn't want to meet us, but they wanted to see pictures and learn a little bit about us. We were late b/c we had to go to 2 different places to get our file printed in color (I had no original pictures...bad mommy). So, when we showed up, the case worker was already upstairs w/ the family. We know that signing usually take abou 20 minutes. Two hours later we were still sitting in the lobby wondering what was going on. It was worse then labor. It was torture. I just wanted to know what was going on.

We heard the elevator ding and out came two cute ladies. We hadn't met either of them before in person, but one was Yvonne, our caseworker and the other was Jen, the notary public. They came over and sat down and said "are you the Bingham's?". We said yes and they handed us a bag and said "this is for you". In it was a fuzzy pink blanket and a little onsie w/ the name of the adoption agency on it. They sat down and pulled out some papers and started organizing things...finally Derek asked "does that mean it is done? Did it happen?" We just kept waiting for it to all go wrong somehow. They both laughed at us and told us that when the birth mom chooses to parent they give HER the baby gift not the adoptive parents. We couldn't believe it. It was done. We had a daughter. We hadn't even seen her. We spent about 20 minutes filling out paperwork and then gave our profile and letter to Yvonne who said the family wanted to see it right away. More waiting. An hour or so later they came back and told us that the family loved reading the letter and that the LOVED the pictures and that the Grandparents wanted to meet us. Did we want to meet them? YES!!!!!!!

We headed up stairs and met with the grandparents. They were very sweet and cute people. They were not much older then us. We just hugged them for a while and everyone cried and then they dug in with tons of questions for us. We were so nervous, but eventually we all loosened up. They asked a lot about our family and we asked a lot about T. After about 30 minutes they asked if we wanted to see the baby. Um, yeah we did. The went to T's room to "get the baby" but we know that they went to give T the lowdown on us. It must have been a good report because when they returned a few minutes later they told us that T wanted to meet us and she wanted to be the one who gave us the baby...was that ok? Again, YEAH. We headed back to the room (ironically, it was the same room that Jacob's birth mom had been in) and peeked in. We saw a beautiful young girl sitting on the bed. She had giant, wide set eyes, beautiful dark skin and a very calm demeanor. In her arms was the smallest baby I had ever seen. She had a green bow in her hair and big old scowl on her face. My first thought was "this kid has sass". We sat at the end of the bed and talked to T for a few minutes, and then grandma asked if I wanted to hold her.

As I took this tiny little person, this child that was now my daughter, but didn't FEEL like my daughter yet, she opened one eye, scrunched up her face and scowled again. That sassy attitude coming through. Heaven help us when she is 3. Derek and I each took turns holding her and answering T's questions. T is very tiny and a very quiet person. As we got to know her better we saw that our initial impression of her was pretty correct. She is soft and gentle, intelligent and kind. Nori looks EXACTLY like her.

I am going to stop and publish this so that I have something new to put up, I will do the second part in a few days (I promise...I need to get it down or I will forget). The second part will be about taking her home, telling the kids and the time we got to spend with the birth family before we all went home.

This baby doesn't sleep at night so I better go rest while she is cat napping.

The car seat just dwarfed her......

Derek and the baby as we were leaving the hospital

New big sister Lauren w/ Nori at three days old

I would like to say this was a time of familial bliss, but really Lu is shouting at
Jacob for trying to poke the babies eyes out. Welcome to my life.

Check out how Lu is blocking Jacob WITH the baby on her arm. That is my girl!

I. Hate. Blogger.

I can't add pictures.

I am switching over soon. Stay tuned....

Norah Hope Bingham

July 21, 2006 / 12:10 pm

5 lbs 10 oz

We didn't get great shots of her awake.......this one below is one of the few. None of these do her hair any justice......

We like this one for comparison. This is Norah laying next to my nephew who is three weeks old today. He is about 10 pounds. She is literally half his size!!! He only looks big compared to her.

Thanks Aunt Cyndi to taking (and posting) Nori's first pictures.

PARTY...........

Since we are lucky enough to be in Utah to pick up or new sweet girl, we want to have a party with all our nearest and dearest to celebrate this happy event. We have blog friends, college friends, family, Palo Alto friends, etc. How lucky for us that you are all in the same place!!! If you are in Utah, come on by. If you are NOT in Utah...well, we might just have to have a few more of these..............

Here are the details. Drop by and have a bite, say hi and meet Norah Hope Bingham. I know this is really short notice AND a holiday weekend so we know we won't catch many of you........

The place: The home of Oh Judy and The Jolly Porter, Provo

The time: 6:30 - 8:30. It is a drop in type of thing, but we will have some light, summer food

If you have any questions, just leave them in the comments or e mail me. PLEASE no gifts. We have enough.....the pleasure of your company is gift enough. We just want to share this happy time with all of you that have been so helpful and supporting during the years it took to get us here.

See you tomorrow...............

I have a daughter..........

Its done....

I was amazing...........

We signed the papers today and it was the most wonderful, sweet experience. The baby 's grandparents wanted to meet us. We had a great visit..they are wonderful and intelligent and kind people. They took the letter we wrote to T and then she decided that SHE wanted to meet us. She wanted to give us the baby. T is a tiny (5 foot eve) thing, quite young and very soft and calm. We had a really good visit. I got to meet my daughter (who already has a little bit of sass and attitude) and the whole thing was very reverent and sweet. She is sure this is what she wants to do, her parents would be supportive either way.

She told us that she knows that God chose us as her family before we were even born. She was just the physical. That sounds so trite when I tell it, but she is a very smart, very religious girl who isn't ready to parent. The fact she wanted to meet us was amazing.

The little one is beautiful. Ton's of black hair. My first thought was that she looks like Jacob. :-) More details and pix later. We didn't stay at the hospital tonight, they wanted more time w/ the baby. We will bring her home tomorrow. We didn't even tell Lulu about this..I can't wait to see her face tomorrow.

I feel like I can finally breath again..... Utah folks......Lunch? Anyone? I will be stuck here for at least a week for the legal to clear..............

Big News, HUGE news

Greetings blogworld.

I might be a mom again. A baby was born today to a potential birth mom that we learned about a few weeks ago (but we are sneaky and didn't tell anyone) and the baby wasn't supposed to show up for 2 or 3 weeks. Apparently today was the day. We jumped on a plane and came straight to Utah (this is where the birth family was living). We are hanging out with my parents and just waiting to hear what is going to happen.

Tomorrow is the earliest that T can sign the relinquishment papers. She may decide to wait a few days. I know that this is a very difficult time for her and she has a lot on her mind. This is not a case of her not wanting or loving this child...her life is just complicated right now. Please keep this woman in your prayers. We just want her to have the clarity of mind that she needs right now to make a HUGE decision.

This is not the first match we have had and this won't be the first match that has failed if she chooses to parent. We will live, but it gets harder to think that way once you are here, waiting for the decision......

You will have to stay tuned to hear what is going to happen. Tomorrow is the earliest we would know. I bet you didn't expect THAT!!!!!!!

Pictures for Day One....

This is the room where the kids have their classes. This picture to me is pure Africa. The color blue is everywhere, the red dust makes all the stone look rust colored and there are kids in the back ground. That was Africa.
This little girl was sitting right behind me at the first orphanage. She is a perfect example of these kids that were smiling, but had very sad eyes. It was like a big paradox in one face.

This is the playground at the first orphanage.

A few examples of huts that we saw. These were at KenyaLand, but we saw ones just like this all over the place in the rural areas.

Every villiage has the husbands hut, the first wives hut, the second wife's hut, etc. You will see more examples of this later in the Africa story.

These girls started following us in KenyaLand and they didn't leave. I never saw their parents. I guess they weren't looking for them. They also asked us for candy about every 5 seconds.

So my daughter is funny. We know that. Here is another Lulu special.

Occasionally, when I don't feel like walking the laundry basket full of laundry downstairs I will just throw the laundry over the banister into the front entry way (the washer is in the garage..so that is half the journey right there...).

One day Lauren said to me "Mom, you know what that reminds me of? When you throw the laundry over the banister to downstairs?"

"No, what does it remind you of?"

"Angels coming down from heaven!"

And all this time I just thought of it as dirty laundry. Right now she is emptying her drawers for me. I swear she outgrew every article of clothing she owns while I was in Africa. I am packing them up to send them to our favorite little Phoebe. She is throwing them down the stairs and going

"aaahhhhhhhaaaahhhhh". As in the sound that angels make when the heavens open. The sound that is on every cartoon when someone gets a light bulb moment. This kid misses nothing.

No pictures.....

Hey everyone..

I am working on getting DAY TWO put up, but I have not been able to add pictures to blogger. Yeah, I know. SO SO SO annoying. Grr. I will hear back from Blogger today and they will let me know what is wrong. I will post it w/ out pictures if I can't get any help from them....

Thanks for the comments....it is nice to know people are reading...

Also, it is official. Project Baby is in full swing. We are getting our paperwork finished for Ethiopia ASAP. We are very excited. You might hear more about adoption from Africa then you ever wanted to in the next few months....

Africa -- Day One

Ok, it is time to start putting down all the crazy stuff that is in my head about the trip to Africa. Keep in mind that as you read this, this was very much a work trip for me. It was mostly flying or driving places, meeting 800 -- 2,000 children, watching a presentation and then flying/driving to the next place. I didn't do much "tourist" stuff, but I did enough to spend all my money. :-) I saw enough just out of the window of the car to help me understand that this place is somewhere I need to go again, and again. Blogger won't let me add pictures tonight so I will post them as soon as I can. For now, here is the narrative.


First Day

I managed to get my plane ticket messed up right before we left. The only flight left was one 12 hours earlier...so I was scrambling. In my perfect world I was going to have Lauren packed to go to Grandma Jane's before I left and Jacob's day care diaper bag filled w/ lunches and clothes packed in ziplock's (matching is a big thing for me...while he will still let me ). Leaving 12 hours earlier put a stop to that notion. Although, who am I kidding? Those things wouldn't have happened anyway.

I landed in London w/ no trouble (after being upgraded to business and a quick stop in NYC to switch planes). The rest of the group didn't get in until 1:00 PM (and I landed at 6:00 AM) so I wandered the airport for a bit. I checked my bags, bought all the sandwiches I was dying for (Cheese Ploughman, Cheese w/ Red Onion Chutney, Chicken Tikka Masala, Coronation Chicken) and ate about two bites from each of them. Heaven. (Don't worry, I saved the rest for later). I wandered in the shops and read my book. It was nice to have a little quiet time since preparing for the trip was so crazy and I had no doubts about how nuts it would be once we hit the ground. At about 1:30 I started watching for my group. These were women I had talked to on the phone before and worked with closely for many months, but we hadn't actually met before. I didn't know what I was looking for. After about two hours...I was ready to call it a day. I knew that the group wanted to go into London for the day and take a look around and we were going to be pushing it, time wise. I was holding a sign that I had hand written...it said STAY ALIVE in really big letters (that is the name of the program we work for). I wish you could have seen the faces of the people who walked past me. They had just gotten off a long international flight, waited for two hours in the customs line and in the lobby of the airport are 100 people all holding small cards with names on them........ Jones, Garp, STAY ALIVE....... one person walked past me and said "that is good advice"........ ba dum bum! Why am I telling you about my layover in London? Because not two seconds before my group came walking out of the customs line I was hit by someone pushing a huge luggage cart. I was all ready to be angry about it when I realized someone was taking pictures......lots of them. I had been hit by David Arquette and his wife Courtney Cox. They had their little girl with them too. AND it was all caught by the paparazzi. Seriously. I was very gracious about it (celebrity gossip maven that I am, getting hit by famous people was an HONOR.......and I had great hair and was hoping to have one of those photos show up in People magazine......no luck). It stinks that they also had to get off a long flight w/ a 2 year old and have people take their picture right away. They apologized profusely and were very nice. They look a little bit smaller then on TV and their baby is very cute. They were headed to Italy for his sisters wedding. They didn't TELL me that or anything, I read it in People magazine on the way home (the same people that DIDN"T have my picture in it...it was a busy celebrity news week). Anyway, I found my people and we saw London for exactly two hours (look, there is Westminster Abbey, look, there is Big Ben, quick eat some fish and chips.....).

We got on our last 8 hour flight (and second red eye) and headed for the dark continent. It was an icky flight. I accidentally took too much Ambien and so I was totally out of it. It is all a haze. I only remember that my seat mates needed to get up about 12 thousand times. I also remember flying directly over Darfur. It was dark so we didn't see anything, but it was strange knowing that below us 4 million people were struggling to make it through the night. It gave me the shivers. We landed in Nairobi and met our host for the trip Justus Suchi (referred to as Suchi from here on out). He hustled us to our hotel and let us get some sleep. I was only mildly concerned about the gated compound w/ guards carrying semi automatic weapons. As long as they were on our side...but honestly, if someone was going to try to get into the hotel to kidnap one of us (it happens more then you think) would these guys fight for us or would they take off?

Exactly.

I think it would have been safer if WE had the weapons. :-)

We slept for a few hours and then went to an oprhanage. This was a place that housed older kids. They were very excited about us coming. They had prepared a big program for us...dancing, traditional singing, poems and recitations (this is a big deal here...20 kids reciting the same poem in PERFECT unison w/ hand motions and wonderfully emotive voices. They have competitions and everything). They even made me come up and dance with them.......it was not pretty. I am not a good dancer in the best of times, but up against African 12 year olds, my shimmy isn't exactly attractive. Attractive it may not be, but apparently it is wonderfully entertaining. When I started doing the John Travolta style finger pointing disco move they even clapped for me. I aim to please. If it makes them happy to laugh at the plump white lady, so be it.

This was our first orphanage. We didn't realize how nice it was until later in the week. The kids were all taken in, no matter what. This is not always the case. Some places won't take HIV positive kids. Some places fill up and can't take any more. This one was run (and sponsored) by the Anglican church and would take as many kids as walked in the door. The building we were meeting in was an outdoor shed. There was one room for girls and one for boys. The day before we got there a 4 year old boy and 5 year old girl (HIV positive) were brought to the center. It broke my heart to see them. They both looked kind of shell shocked. One boy got up to tell us his story. He said his mother died several years earlier when he was 8. His father remarried and his new wife had other children. She didn't like the boy and didn't want to feed him. She thought he was lazy and asked him to do harder work then the other kids. She often beat him or wouldn't let him come inside if his father was away. He said he decided to run away to Nairobi as soon as he was 10. He knew his mother had a brother there and he decided that this uncle would help him. He finally got his chance. He met a man that said he would take him to Nairobi. He didn't take him there. Instead he took him to his own home and made him work (this is what adoption means to Africans). After awhile he was able to run away again and he got to Nairobi. When he went to the uncle's home, he had moved. The boy lived on the streets for awhile and finally someone told him to come to this orphanage. He did and had been there for several months. He told us how grateful he was that he has a safe place to sleep, an education and food. Here we were looking at this seemingly run down building with too many kids and this was the best thing that had ever happened to this boy. It is all about perspective. I am glad he made it there. If he stays, he will get an education and have a chance at a life. Not many get that opportunity.

After the orphanage (where I gave out tons of gum and pens) we went to the Kenyan version of Disneyland. I can't remember the real name of it so we will just call it Kenyaland. It has mock villages from the different tribes, traditional dancing and a few booths that sell "souvenirs" or, lots of carved, wooden stuff. The place was empty. There was us and a black family from Chicago there and that was it. There were only about 30 people in the auditorium for the dancing. There WAS a snack bar. It was a crock pot on a table w/ chicken legs and feet cooking in it. :-) We took some pictures of the mock villages. Little did I know that we would see those very same villages EVERYWHERE. Outside of one or two major cities, most people really do live in huts w/ grass roofs. That is if they are lucky. Many people just live in shacks made of flattened metal barrels or wooden shacks. Almost none of the places we saw had electricity or plumbing. Even Suchi, our program director in Kenya, grew up in a hut. He didn't have electricity or plumbing until he moved to the city. It is also common in rural Africa to practice polygamy or wife sharing (hence the problems w/ AIDS). Suchi said his father tried to take a second wife, but his mother wasn't happy about it. She told him that if he brought her home, she would "chop her up with a machete". Ouch. He kept the second wife in a different city and finally had to abandon her b/c wife #1 was not happy. The father got tired of going back and forth. Traditionally, there is a husbands hut, a first wife's hut, a second wife's hut and an unmarried son's hut. Dealing with two different villages was too much work. There is a saying in Africa that the children of the second wife are the favored children b/c you marry the first wife for duty and the second for love. I guess in his case, you UN marry the second wife out of fear. Suchi also lost two siblings to malaria. One was a baby and one was 5. Wow.

I bought some cool statues at the Kenya Disneyland. This is where I first saw the art of bargaining. More on that later. The statues were originally offered to me at 20,000 Kenyan shillings (about 175 US dollars). Eventually, I got them for 4,000 shillings (about 30 dollars). They are awesome. It was especially awesome trying to get them home.... more on that later too. We went back to the hotel and fell into bed.... I had no trouble falling asleep that night. Two red eyes and 35 hours of travel (not to mention Kenyaland) was enough for me.

HOME and Happy 4th

Hi everyone,

After traveling for 2 days, I MADE it home. I even got some sleep last night. My son won't look at me or talk to me (he just shakes his head..."no"....like I offended him). That might change when he see's me this morning. He a daddy bonded in a huge way.

I am uploading my pictures and have a travel journal that I will post soon. I will just post a few days at a time. This is my one and only journal for the trip...so if might be long.........:-)

Overall, it was a wonderful trip. It was great to see how the program is working on the ground and to get to meet the people in Africa that are working very hard to make things happen. It was WONDERFUL to meet the children and teachers that use the program and hear that all of our hard work is making a change in the lives of some of these children. Finally, it made me realize how very blessed I am to live in my home with my family. I am blessed that my children have parents who won't die anytime soon, that they have enough to eat and that they have sparkle in their eyes. For all the smiling children I saw in Africa, I saw as many blank eyes above those smiles. There is MUCH that needs to be done.

More later,
Rebecca

Kenya Calling

Hey everyone!! I found a computer and can squeeze out a few minutes. We arrived safe and sound and have already been to four schools and two orphanages.

We flew to Western Kenya today (Kissumu) and it was very amazing and humbling. The children are so beautiful and the had prepared wonderful songs and skits for us. Their voices were like a little bit of heaven...it made my soul tingle to hear them. I would have taken several of them home if I could. They all got a big kick out of seeing their photos on the digital camera!!

Tomorrow we go to Eastern Kenya for two days and then off to Uganda after that. The end of the week will be conferences with the teachers.

No one has malaria yet (smile) and be assured I will be hitting all of you up for donations when I return (smile......). Small things make huge changes here.

Love you all and hope you are all well.
R

The Dark Continent...

Hey everyone,

I am leaving tomorrow for Africa. I can't imagine that I will be more busy there then I have been trying to get ready to leave. I look forward to the plane just to be able to sit down and read a little bit. :-) The airline messed up my ticket and I just found out that I leave 12 hours earlier then I thought I did (but they upgraded me..so I can deal with it). I leave SF at 8:00 am tomorrow and will get to Kenya TWO DAYS LATER.......sheesh. I get to play tour guide for an entire day in London in between. Two red eye flights out to take care of jet lag. I will be so tired I will sleep when we get there no matter what!!!

I will not be able to post from there, I am pretty sure, but will try. I get back July 3rd, but will do a great travel journal and will post it when I get back. It is going to be nuts...our schedule is pretty tight (but we managed to squeeze in a day of Safari....).
I am going to miss my kids and husband and I am scared to fly....all the propeller planes might be a problem for me. We go on a propeller plane every day......

I can do this.

Have a great week and I'll see you all when I get back...

P.S. It was 104 degrees here today. Not good. I admire all you people who live in AZ and TX...I feel like I am going to strangle myself, with my children........it is much harder to parent in the heat. :-)

Oh, one more story. I am bringing TONS of candy w/ me (starbursts, mints, gum, etc). I don't give money to beggars, but I DO give candy and pens. Lauren saw all the bags of candy and asked me of she could have some. Before I knew it I answered "no Lulu, those are for the starving children in Africa". She answered "if they are so hungry why do they get candy before they get real food?". Touche.

Oktoberfest.....

BLOGGER WON'T LET ME ADD PHOTOS! GRRRRRRRRRRRR

I fear that by taking so long to write the story, I have made it seem more exciting then it really is........ Blogger won't let me add pictures. I have had a hard time posting this entry for the last few days too. Silly blogger.

Last Saturday we went to a BBQ. Actually, it was a 30th birthday party for my friend Jen (Hi Jen and Mathias). Their daughter Lucy is mini Lauren. White blonde hair, chubby little arms, blue eyes......oh, and Lucy LOVES Jacob, Jacob calls her Luuuuuucy......... We love those guys (hi Mathias and Jen).

Anyway, the dinner was at the home of Jen's parents. He dad is our bishop and her mother is wonderwoman (well, so is Jen...). She is a tiny woman who is friendly and talented and can cook and garden and makes everyone feel at home. She also loves my boy. When Jacob first came home, she came up to me and said "if you need a grandma for that boy, let me know...I will hold him, etc" At the time, her only granddaughter lived in San Diego. More then once she took him from us during church and saved my bacon.

The kids had a ball at the bbq. There were a few kiddie pools and we brought suits for them. The grown ups chatted and the kidd0's ran around. Jacob ruled the pool. You would have thought the child had never seen water before. He sat in the pool, with his big Buddha belly sticking out, and just smiled for hours. We finally dragged the kids out of the pool to eat (Jen made Strawberry Rhubarb pie w/ HOMEMADE puff pastry, she is amazing). Lauren ate nothing (shocker) and Jacob ate 4,000 pieces of watermelon. Well, he actually ate about 9, and those are just the ones that I gave him. Every time I turned around he was grabbing a piece out of the garbage and finishing it off. Whatever. It kept him quiet so I really didn't care (and I knew that I would aready be dealing with the diaper the next day anyway........).

The sun started to set and the wind picked up again. I was visiting w/ another couple that we had just met and noticed Ludwiga had taken Jacob inside. She had asked me if we had any dry clothes for him......I did, but didn't have a chance to put them on him yet. She was being very sweet and because I wasn't her kid, she couldn't really say "get these wet clothes off this cold child...now!!" (which she should have--because he was getting cold). Instead she just took him inside and when he reappeared he was GERMAN. A friend of hers had given her some Lederhosen and it was all she had to put on him. The sweet blue shirt and the shorts. After I stopped laughing.......I took him outside to take a picture. He was so proud of his new outfit he kept posing and posing. Ludwiga is from Germany and her other grandkids wear these all the time. When you come to think of it, what could be better then leather shorts? Back me up here Wendy. For some reason it just tickled me to see him in these. I guess you could call this a study in juxtaposition.

So there you have it. That is how my son came to wear lederhosen. Not a particularly funny story, but the end result made us giggle.

Next up... a hula skirt.

DUDE!!!!!

I keep meaning to get back and write the story (I am half done). I have waited so long that no matter what I put, it will not be as funny as you all are hoping to think it is. Sigh.

I have been swamped with getting ready to go. Taking pictures, editing pictures, taking more pictures, last day of school party, Africa stuff....blah, blah, blah. I will finish it tonight, but here are a few pictures to tide you over. For the grandma's.

Lauren lost tooth #2. She has ruffled teeth, just like her mamma.

Jacob is still squeezing into small spaces.

He never stops moving (the newest toy obsession is his "gun" which is really that pink toy mixer) He never puts it down. We have all be clocked in the head with his new toy.

He loves watermelon

Princess Lauren at the Golden Gate. Foggy day (as usual) but not too hot

I haven't had as many pictures of Lauren lately...I was trying to figure out why and I realized that 1) she doesn't like me to take her pictures anymore and 2) she is gone all day at school and I don't have as many chances. My goal this month is to get her on film (whether she likes it or not).

And now for something completely different......

Well, well, well. After spending three posts about a fish that was dead, then not dead, then dead again and got more attention in death then she EVER did in life...........it was time for a change.

I have a lot of exciting things about Africa to write about (I leave two weeks from tomorrow) but I wanted to put something totally different up today. I sat at my desk and I thought and I thought about what I could put that was the polar opposite of a fish funeral.........

Then it hit me.......... I know the exact thing.......


Jacob in Lederhosen (a type of German leather shorts for little boys)


Want to know WHY I have a picture of a small black child wearing German clothing? You are going to have to stay tuned for that one...........

Rest in Peace, Fairy Lu..

First, we had to make the coffin..........

This looks like a mug shot, but she was pretty sad. She was crying and crying and had just finished saying "Fairy Lu was the sweetest fish" and "If I had just taken better care of her...."

Of course we had to put hearts all over it......

Putting the deceased in the coffin. Lauren was sobbing and managed to squeak out "Man, she sure stinks!"

You might think she is kissing the coffin, but she is SMELLING it. Just to see how much it stinks..... silly girl

Digging a hole in just the right place (aka..the only place that isn't going to be bricked over in the new few weeks)

Lauren made a grave marker (which we later laminated)

A few words and prayer for our beloved Fairy Lu (so beloved we often forgot to feed her...)

After we put Lulu down to bed, we heard little steps on the stairs. We watched her pick some flowers from the front yard and put them on her grave. Poor Lauren.

It's in the air...

There is nothing better than springtime in my house. As I sit here in the kitchen I can smell the honeysuckle and jasmine on soft breeze that comes through the door. Ahhh. Spring. There is nowhere on earth better then right here in the spring.

Part 3 of the Fairy Lu story (oh, and BTW...Derek thinks it is Lu and not Lou) is coming up. It is called "Fairy L(o)u, the Funeral"

Also, the 8th person in three days just told me she is going to have a baby (all first babies). They are all due in the same week of December/January. It really IS in the air. One of those people is my sister in law. Yipppeee. I am blessed with wonderful nieces and nephews on my side, but this is the first on Derek's side. The best part is that they live right here. We are so happy for our kids to have cousins that live close by. Congratulations to all the expecting mammas.

P.S. I am supposed to do that 7's thing..I am working on it.

It is my sad duty to inform you that Fairy Lou, the fish who lived, has now passed away thus proving the fact that if you talk about something really cool...the opposite will immediately happen. I as much as cursed her by telling the story. Sadly, it is for real this time (I think, but you can be sure that I didn't do ANYTHING for at least a day). She is currently waiting for her coffin to be made so she can be buried....there will be no flushing of this fish according to my daughter. I did compromise on the coffin because she wanted to to keep the fish in the water in the tank it so she "could look at Fairly Lou anytime".

Ummm, no.

Poor poor Fairy Lou. We brought her back just to kill her again. Sheesh.

The fish who lived.........

Sorry it has been awhile since I have posted. I have been in the outside world actually DOING things. :-) We have been cleaning out closets, moving furniture and generally getting the house de-junked. I tend to keep things that I don't need. Little did I know on Memorial Day that we would be the beneficiaries of a miracle.

Let me back up. A few weeks ago I was cleaning the kitchen counter and looked at Fairy Lu's very dirty fish tank (for those of you who don't know...Fairy Lou is the fish that we bought after Lauren's beloved Great Grandma died ON HER BIRTHDAY!!). I am talking "so much algae that you can barely see the fish" dirty. She didn't seem to mind and in fact I think she was thriving..these fish do live in the rice paddies....there must be mud there. This is actually Fairy Lu 5. The first 4 died within hours or days of being introduced to their new home. We felt that Lulu was traumatized enough w/ death so we ran out and bought NEW fish. Do you know how hard it is to find a Beta that is the same color as the one you had before? I think Lauren's Uncle Jay even went out to Petsmart in the late hours of the night to get one. One even died while my sister and I were sitting and looking at it....it was slowly swimming in circles and then ... blub, blub, blub...belly up on the top of the tank. So, Fairy Lou 5 has been doing great and has lasted for about 6 months. While cleaning the counter, I noticed that Fairy Lou looked a bit sluggish. About an hour later I noticed that she was floating on the top of the tank. Belly up.

Crap.

I made an executive decision that pet disposal and/or breaking the bad news fell into the realm of what Daddy's do. I put a dish cloth on the tank (a shroud?) and called my husband. Oh, I want to point out as well that Derek was tired of the dirty tank and decided to clean it out. I didn't want to tempt fate and it turned out I was right. The unfortunate demise of Fairy Lou was just a week after the tank was cleaned. I put the tank on the back porch and left it up to him. Derek thought that Lauren might want to say "good by" to the fish and be there when she went to the great toilet bowl in the sky. He got home really late from work the next few nights so it just never happened. The tank remained on the back porch, covered. Lauren never even noticed that the tank was gone (out of sight, out of mind?).

Memorial Day, Derek decided that it was a good day to tell Lu about the fish. He went to the back porch to get the little tank. A few seconds later I hear the loudest yell and then laughing I have ever heard.

"She's not dead!!!"

?????????????????????

"Are you sure...are you SURE it isn't just the water in the tank moving that makes you think she is alive..it has been A WEEK" I answer.

And as proof he held up the tank and sure enough, there was Fairy Lou swimming back and forth. Alive as you and me. Is it a miracle? Is that fish just a really good actor? Should we check for a small lightning shaped scar on its little fish forehead? It it because I made the Lord Voldemort joke about Cubby? Maybe Cubby really IS he who can not be named. :-)

Either way...Fairy Lou the fish came back to us. The tank went right back onto the counter where it usually goes and a few minutes later and Lulu, who never even noticed that the tank was missing, asked "Mom, can I feed Fairy Lou".

True Story.

Picture this...

Tracey at Picture This was talking yesterday about the 'blurries' that sometimes happen when trying to get a nice photo with the flash turned off. She asked readers to share a photo they think 'worked' even with some blur. I thought of a few that I have taken. I am going to post them so she can see them.....I don't know how to do it any other way...

I like both of these because I think that the blur shows the motion in the picture.
Cubby having a tantrum....

This is my favorite picture of my husband and my son. This was taken right after Derek walked off the stage at his graduation from Stanford. He took the kids with him (they all do it there) and he just smacked Cubby on the cheek. It is blurry b/c I took it fast, but it works.

A great story is on the way about Fairy Lou, the miracle fish.

Read it here first...

Hey everyone,

A friend of mine is bringing her little girl home from Ethiopia any day now. The catch is that this girl is HIV positive. Both Ethiopia and the US have started to allow HIV positive children to be adopted. This is great news. Did you know that HIV is not a fatal illness in children in the US, but it is in Africa? Why? Proper nutrition, drugs and health care. It is a shame to let those kids die in orphanages when some families here are willing to adopt them. Thanks to places like the Gates Foundation and the One campaign...these children are starting to get the meds they need to survive. They are even going to school and expected to live into adulthood. That is a very different story then it was a few years ago. BUT, there is always more that can be done. No amount of money or schooling can replace a mom and a dad.

This story is cool because this family adopted a son (not HIV positive) from Ethiopia a few years ago. They decided to sponsor an HIV positive child too (those kids at the time couldn't be adopted). They decided to meet their sponsored child when they went over to pick up their son. They fell in love with her, a young girl named Desta. They have fought long and hard to bring her home. If you have a minute to read a new blog, check out Bringing Desta Home at http://bringingdestahome.blogspot.com/ People magazine sent a reporter over there with them so you will hear about it soon anyway. Desta is now 11. It is a very compelling story.

Another friend of mine visited the same orphanage (AHOPE for Children) when she was over getting HER son. She also fell in love with a little girl and decided to sponsor her too. Now they are bringing her home as soon as they can. Isn't that wonderful? I know that not all of us are equipped to adopt HIV positive children, but isn't it great that for the ones who can, it is now possible for them to find a forever family? What a blessing. I can't adopt an HIV positive child, but I can sponsor one (or get my family to pitch in and sponsor one). I can gather donations for the AHOPE orphanage. There are families from all over the US going to Ethiopia to pick up their children every week and they often bring donations to AHOPE. If I find the stuff, they will find a way to get it over there. I can do something, all of us can. It isn't hard and it isn't even very expensive.......20$ goes a long way over there. Just a thought.

Ok, I am off the soapbox. At the very least it is interesting reading for the evening. Here are some links. You can leave Desta a message on the comments for her to get when she gets home. I know they are keeping a book for her of all the well wishes.

Have a good day!

http://www.ahopeforchildren.org/

http://www.chancesbychoice.org/

P.S. This was a nice contrast the hell that was play group at my house today......will my boy ever stop hitting?

The Dark Lord...

Some of you many not find my son's nickname funny, but it has less to do with his pigment then his unique ability for destruction (although it does add a more realistic air........Especially since he wears his Darth Vader mask all the time).

He may not make it through the summer. Yesterday alone he almost fell off the second floor balcony (apparently his head CAN still fit through the railing), he slipped out the front door and ran out behind Derek's car AS HE WAS BACKING UP (apparently he CAN open doornobs now) and then climbed on the sink and managed to open a bottle of Ambien and take one or twelve (apparently he CAN climb onto the counter of the bathroom--but that one was on Derek's watch....not TOTALLY my fault). Then last night as I was trying to read an e mail for about 12 seconds, he pushed a chair up to the kitchen counter and grabbed Lauren's codine for her pneumonia. He is DETERMINED to kill himself. Seriously.

Reading this could lead one to assume that I am a terrible mother with drugs just laying around all over the house. That is only kind of true. I am a pretty vigilant mommy. The kids aren't usually out of my eyesight. Darth Vader is just lightning quick and is smarter then I thought. That should be a thing that makes me proud, but right now it just makes me tired.

Tonight, my sister Kate had Lauren in her room. Lauren was helping her clean it. Lauren. Cleaning someone else's room. I could try and take credit for her helpful attitude and say that it was because of the The Last Resort but really Kate told her she could keep all the money she found on the floor. Anyway, Cubby was left alone in the living room for 2 minutes. Maybe less.

When the overwhelming smell of lotion hit my nose I knew I was in trouble.

Thats right folks. Lotion. This was a rookie mistake. I don't know where he got it, but I should have known better. I suppose it is my fault for teaching him how to lotion his own hair. I put some in his hands and let him rub it in. This has made him obsessed with all things lotion. I will let you imagine how much lotion was in his hair. Lets just say, we won't be greasing it for awhile...and we might actually have to wash it with shampoo. Also, I do not keep him looking like a ghetto baby (meaning..no clothes...just a diaper). I had just changed him and was going to put his jammies on him.

I am not sure which is more alarming..the lotion or the scissors. Notice that he didn't just squirt the lotion. He took the cap off. That child could take the cap off a Chapstick before he was one. Rookie mistake.

Also, I had the Stanley Steamer guys here THREE DAYS AGO. Sigh. 200$ down the drain. That little stinker. I could have saved us all some trouble and NOT had the floors steamed and spent the $$ on a really cute skirt that I saw at JJill.

UPDATE.........

While I was writing this I had the lotion monster in his bed. I actually sent him up to his crib with my sister while I cried for a little while. I forgot to remind her to put something on him before she put him in bed. Why? Diapers don't stay on long in this house w/ out at least three layers on top. When he was still crying an hour later I decided to investigate. Let's just say the smell hit me before I got up the stairs.

Oh the horror of a room covered in poo. Enough said.

I wish there was a Last Resort for babies.................I guess this is why going to to rural Africa is going to be less of a working trip and more of a vacation.........

Local Boy Wins...

For all you Amazing Race fans!!

Hurray for BJ and Tyler. Tyler is from Woodside.....the town right next to my little town. His dad, Jamis, owns the resturaunt called Bucks (in the late 90's it was THE place for tech deals to happen over breakfast). Derek and I had our first date at Bucks. We also met Shirly Temple Black and Joan Biaz there once, they weren't together but they are locals. Jamis is a wacky, artist type and his kids are very intelligent free spirits. Tyler is his middle son and his youngest son is my youngest brother in law's best friend. A few years ago Tyler made a movie by walking from the bottom of Japan to the top. He does stuff like that. Amazing Race was nothing.

It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy (and I am glad it wasn't those d%#@ frat boys!!)

Welcome to "The Last Resort" - we hope you enjoy your stay

Hello world,

This week has been one of the most difficult of my parenting career. Not because of the foot, or the heat (and the pool is still empty...PEOPLE!! That is why we pay one million dollars in HOA dues.....) or even the stinker (aka Cubby). It is because my 6 year old is winning the battle of control of the house. It perplexes me.

I am a STRICT mom. Fair, but strict. I don't let these kids get away with much. Just ask my mom and several of my friends, they think I might be a little bit TOO strict. I just feel that there is behavior that is unacceptable and it doesn't matter if you are 2 or 20, I won't allow it. Ever. Things like being unkind, impolite or sassy. Things like being disrespectful to others, taking things that aren't yours. The basics. It doesn't matter that my 18 month old doesn't REALLY understand that he is not allowed to take another child' s toy away (I know it is a development thing). Each and every time he does it, he will be walked over to the other child, give back the toy and give a "soft touch" (a pat on the arm or head). EVERY TIME. At some point he will understand and it will just have always been that way. A phrase that is often used in my home is "try again". We also do the "one, two, three" method with my daughter. After the third chance she is OUT. Sometimes she gets three chances in a row, for example.

"Lu, it is time for bed"

"But MOM!!"

"That's one"

"MOM!"

"That's two"

...and if she makes it to three; things will be very grim (no song, no stories, etc). Sometimes it is over the course of a day. For example, hitting her brother....if I have to get to three by the end of the day, then things are REALLY grim. It works too. I have found that it allows me to discipline while being unemotional. If I get worked up, we loose ground very quickly. She knows the rules and she knows what is expected of her and if she does the wrong thing...well, the rules are clear. This has been very effective ever since she was small. That was yesterday. Now she is almost 6 and the rules have changed. Basically, I don't make the rules or hold the power anymore.

I have always struggled with 6 year old girls. Sorry. They are awkward and silly, too big to be little and too little to be big. I kind of dreaded this age anyway. I would take my then three year old to the park and watch the older girls and dread the day she became one. I didn't know that 6 would be so HARD. I joke that it is just a fun preview for 13, and I am sure it is, but I am amazed at how one (small) person can set the mood in our home.

Lately, Lu has decided that the rules in our home are optional and that it doesn't matter the consequence that is given, being sassy or having the last word is more important. Going to bed early? Oh well. No TV or computer? Who cares, she'll just draw. No snacks? She didn't want one anyway. The other night, she was in bed early and she actually GOT UP and went outside to play in the back yard. I had to physically carry her back in. Clearly, the key to discipline is that the consequence has to be more uncomfortable then the behavior (although..someday I am told they will want to be good for the sake of being good....I am skeptical). That seems to be the missing key. I found myself constantly yelling at her and having to be louder and longer as the week progressed. Short of physically punishing her (which I am not totally opposed to, but this was not the correct solution here) I didn't know what to do. Every interaction we had was negative...and we had to interact 300,000 times a day. It made our house feel like a dark cloud was hanging over it all the time. I was cranky and at the end of my rope all the time. Frankly, I was battle weary in a way I hadn't been since she was two. I dreaded getting up in the morning.

I came to the realization that the balance of power needed to shift in a BIG way. She needed to understand that I was in charge and that I wouldn't tolerate this anymore. BUT, I needed to do it in a way that would allow me to discipline her w/ out high emotion but make it consistent too. Sounds like a challenge, huh? I borrowed an idea from the sister of my friend Suzi.

Welcome to "The Last Resort".

What is the Last Resort? One morning last week (when it was only 8:30 and we had already had multiple fights), I decided that she wasn't going to get to have ANYTHING in her room. Nothing but a bed (and I let her keep the pink sheets and not put the white ones on...that is the last resort at the Last Resort).

We moved EVERY SINGLE thing out of her room. All the posters on the wall, all the toys, all the books, all the clothes. EVERYTHING. She has to earn them back. It is nice to have such a clean room. See the pink shelf that used to be full of books, Barbies and Polly Pockets? Gone.

See the desk that used to have paper, crayons, markers and glue. Empty (I even took the chair) and I put them in the closet where the door will remain shut.

All her clothes are gone too (I put mine in her closet and hers in mine). She has to ask me if she wants to change and I get to decide what she will wear...instead of the usual, one-of-us-picks-the-top-and-the-other-picks-the-bottom (to make sure she semi matches). The best part is that I made her do it. I got a bunch of baskets and told her to fill them up and put them in her brother's room. She had to be the little pack horse and believe me, she was crying the whole time. It really made it hit home for her. She was even late for school b/c she was taking so long.

I know this seems drastic and it is, but without relaying the play by play, it was necessary.

The result? We are on day three and it is working. Every minute of the day is spent w/ Lauren trying to do things to earn stuff back. She keeps saying "isn't it great how happy I am being?" "Isn't it wonderful that I am playing with Jacob?" You know what? It IS!!! Instead of us focusing all day on the bad things that are happening, she is fixated on the good. She has already earned back her radio (so she can listen to music at night) and her pretty pillows for her bed (she IS my daughter after all.....home decor is very important). Tomorrow might be the chair for her desk, or the Polly's. We will see.

Harmony is restored, we are having loving words again and I am slowly editing the toys (she will never know). The Last Resort just might have saved our summer.

Of chocolate pretzels and Pirate's Booty

America, I may not make it.

While trying to accomplish the joke that is "staying off my foot" I have done the following things.
1. Done sharing time for Jr. and Sr. Primary
2. Taken Jacob for a surgery
3. Taken Jacob for follow up after surgery
4. Had 3 photo appointments (one was a baptism...Couldn't reschedule)
5. Made an emergency run to Trader Joe's for Unburied Treasure Popcorn and chocolate covered pretzels. These are the only thing that will get me through the week. For those of you w/out a Trader Joes' these are like cheese puffs but they look and taste like popcorn. They melt in your mouth, are perfect for pre chewing toddlers and are my version of crack cocaine.

Not too bad. I have been doing the best I can, but some stuff just can't be rescheduled (like Jacobs surgery.....). My kids are actually driving me nuts (which isn't really surprising because none of us have left the house). I am surprised it took this long for us all to start being irritated with each other. It isn't the little one that I am struggling with, it is the 6 year old. I didn't know that 6 would be so hard. Really. I know that most of it is because I am not feeling on top of things so I am not the most kind and patient mother this week, but seriously...she gets to LEAVE. She should be the happiest one. We are in the middle of clothes battles, food battles and back talk battles. All at the same time. I am also fully aware that they aren't acting any different, I am. That isn't really helping though. Don't let that cute smile fool you. Under those little piggytail's is a child that wants to dress like a Bratz doll, eat nothing but taco chips and tell her mother what she will and will not do. Both kids have been in bed by 6:30 pm this week. I can only get away with this until they understand the concept of time.


The baby is bitter that I have installed a new gate to keep him out of the kitchen (he finally figured out the sliding pocket door....darn it). The kitchen is my oasis and the children are not allowed in unless I say so. The biggest key to being allowed in the kitchen is to be old enough not to get into the kitchen stuff or make me have to babyproof it. I don't want to. The end. The whole toe disaster started because Cubby was getting into something he shouldn't have. I know it would be easier to babyproof the kitchen, but I prefer to buy a gate. This one has bars and he can push things through it. Yesterday he found a magazine and tore each page off, one by one, and pushed them through the bars...........calling "ma ma, ma ma, ma ma" the whole time. America, I didn't budge. I can't keep him from jumping on my foot so he has to stay one one side of the bar and me on the other. I just handed him a pile of magazines and told him to go to it.

Anytime I come near the gate, he holds his hand out like he is trying to flag down a life boat to get off the Titanic. Mostly he forgets he is supposed to be crying and he just watches Go Diego Go. He is currently throwing all his toys over the gate. Too bad for him when all the fun things to play with are on MY side of the gate. Should I play with them in front of him and see how mad he can REALLY get? (just kidding..........)

I will make it until Derek gets home on Saturday night, right? Of course, he leaves again on Sunday night.............

Because I don't get enough attention....

Have you ever had one of those weeks when there is a 50% / 50% chance that things can go either good OR bad and you always hit the bad? Not really bad stuff, but just little annoying life stuff. For example...you come in the door and set the diaper bag on a chair. If you are having a good week, it will stay there. If you are having a bad week it will teeter on the edge, topple on to the floor and the sippy cup of milk inside it will explode.

Or.

You are on the phone with a client and you need to go get your 5 year old from the bus stop and you cut it really close. If you are having a good week, the bus will be a little bit late, but if you are having a bad week, it was 5 minutes early and has already taken your daughter back to school....which means you have to wake the baby up from his nap to go get her.

Yeah. That was my week.

In keeping with the flow of the week.....I was chasing my son and smacked my foot on the edge of the high chair. I heard a SNAP and then collapsed b/c of the pain. I even swore (which my son helpfully mimicked). I knew I had broken a toe. Now, I have broken a toe before and I know there is really nothing that you can do. So I taped it and ignored it. But, because I was having a "bad" week it got worse and worse. Finally when it was so swollen I was a little nervous and even a passing breeze made me wince in pain I went to the Dr. and got an x-ray. It showed that I had broken it right on the joint and need to to be "immobile" for the next 4 weeks or I will need surgery to put a pin in it. (So much fuss for a toe?). I was laughing so hard I think I actually snorted. Did I need to mention that I have TWO kids and a husband that will be in New York for three of the next four weeks? If I don't stay off it after all that time, I will have to have the surgery anyway......

Great.

So, if anyone wants to come over and feed me peeled grapes while they chase my kids and do my laundry, the key is under the mat. Otherwise, I will let you know when the surgery is............